“When reality is I am just printing off sheets of paper in an Old Navy sweater that has yogurt on it from earlier, with yesterdays hair in a low bun and red lip stick stains from yesterday.”

So, here are some gems. First, the job title for the Sales Associate is “Model.” I am definitely not model material - don’t know why they even hired me. The store managers scout the mall and look for people who have that “Abercrombie look” in order to find employees - like it’s some privilege to be invited into the…

Megyn Kelly asked Dr. Phil, “Who are the kinds of people who lie the most?”

When reality is I am just printing off sheets of paper in an Old Navy sweater that has yogurt on it from earlier, with yesterdays hair in a low bun and red lip stick stains from yesterday.

I worked for an inventory company many years ago. I vividly remember hearing a hissing sound while counting at a Hollister that was driving me nuts. Apparently they pump their cologne/perfume into the air from an automatic dispenser in the ceiling.

You are clearly not a Jewish man.

I think my husband imagines me at work with a giant calculator and like glasses at my nose with a sexy updo and pencil skirt on being all confused about numbers... “Oh fiddlesticks can someone help me with this addition problem!”

Using the word “love” is a great way to subliminally make a blonde android seem more human.

I also had the delightful job of dousing their shitty cologne on EVERYTHING every few hours.

Bullshit! I’m a fucking 14 (out of 10)* and I sit in a windowless office all and look at spreadsheets all day.

I assumed one of her handlers told her to use it as much as possible as an attempt to seem human.

You are so wrong.

I’m not sure if this is already obvious, but perhaps Megyn Kelly’s usage of “Lots of Love” is her attempt at seeming relevant by using what she thinks is the extrapolation of “LOL”. Since most people that are actually ‘with it’ know “LOL” stands for ‘laugh out loud’ and this acronym is oftentimes confused with “Lots…

Yes.

It actually is really hard to do my job because yes, I am hot. #premenopause #canIgetafanbitches

I’m in fleece right now and I feel pretty sexy.

Speak for yourself. I look forward to it every morning.

I am embarrassed to say that in college I worked at Abercrombie and Fitch for a year. I was one of those girls who had the very boring job of standing at the entrance of the store for hours and saying “Have you tried our sexy fleece?” to every customer who walked in. I also had the delightful job of dousing their…

This study is BS. I wouldn’t hire Donald Trump to clean my toilet and he looks like a chewed up piece of carrot cake.

I am also too hot for my job - I think I was hired to make Billing look sexier than it is. Also when my attorneys scream at me my cry face is on point so I think its working.