If you have to explain a joke, that means it isn’t a joke...

Yeah, I can’t figure that one out either...

I’m disappointed that he forgot to mention Frederick Douglass this time.

This, if only from a logistical point of view.

Have a star, you magnificent bastard.

One explanation is that (I’m guessing here) he’s Mormon. The capital’s name is Heber City, ffs. Heber Chase Kimball was an early Mormon leader. His daughter, Helen Mar Kimball, had the great fortune to get married to Joseph Smith (founder of Mormonism) before 15, as one of his polygamous wives.

Ummmm, isn’t Portuguese different from Spanish?

Rolling Stone elephants?

Yeah, me neither, and I’ll be there in 10 years.

Embrace the drag.

I have paid into it. I’m not getting your money. I’m getting MY money that I’ve paid into this.

Anecdotes do not equal data.

My EBT does not let me buy rotisserie chickens, when they are cheap as hell and would go a long way to help me meet my nutritional needs, not to mention using the carcass and such to make soup.

I’m not on SNAP, but I am getting EBT benefits.

Anything longer than the two overnights I did for DUIs counts as horrible and life changing.

OMG.

“I’ve gotten a real glimpse—during the campaign, I’d go around with Ben to a lot of different places I wasn’t so familiar with. They’re incredible people.”

Those people aren’t different. Those people are assholes.

I’m not sure I WANT to see Cheetolini laugh. That sounds frightening.

That’s an insult to Caitlyn.