Checks date: not April 1st... and I thought unicycles were peak hipster. I guess I was wrong.

The out-of-place digital screen distracts me completely from the wheel.

The dipshit executives over at Cadillac who approved axing V-Sport in favor of making weakling V cars and then introducing a new, higher-end badge for real Vs needs to be fired yesterday along with the useless flotsam who came up with and floated the idea across his desk.

I mean not gonna lie I had to look at the author to see whether this was a Fancy Kristen thing or not.

But I can tell you that I thought someone else on the Jalopnik staff was writing about it.

“I’ve flown with a 24-hour flu”.

lotta guys out there robbing Peter for him

This Paul guy must have lots of money if they keep referring to him as “Rich Paul.”

I’ve watched enough anime to know that the Olympics in Tokyo means global disaster will happen in the lead up the games. Looking at the news, we seem to be right on schedule.

I know guys that work in nuclear power plants and they find empties left over from the construction guys constantly.

I didn’t/don’t need any convincing to buy a new CTS-V....My boss needs convincing to pay me enough money to afford a new CTS-V

Whatever, 100% of Fiesta STs and Focus STs are manual. Ford wins. /s

Right? A nice 16"...MAYBE 17" wheel with some meaty tires would look amazing.

If this was 1990, I would’ve thought you were talking about the first gen. 

You wanna know how I know you’ve never driven one?

On one hand I’d love to upgrade and get all the bells and whistles upgrades

We bought a 2017 LX sedan with a manual for under $17,000 and love it. It routinely gets over 40 mpg in mixed driving. If you beat on it, it moves pretty good for a base model car. Oh yeah, I prefer a sedan over a hatch.

Want to give a star for cheekiness, but yeah, I just can’t like VAG products.

It is my Civic duty to inform you that the GTI has this Honda Beat Insight-out in every category. Now that you have some Clarity, SI? - You should just Pilot the new base model GTI at your own Accord and realize that your money is spent better elsewhere. Around the Si’s price, the hatchbacks are much better to drive…

Freddie: *smashes a home run*
Me: *makes fun of little Charlie for getting owned by his dad*
Freddie: *runs offscreen*
Me (not understanding object permanence): “Where’d he go?!”