Woman, 38. I just started dating a guy this spring and I was the one who instigated the first kiss. If I recall correctly I just went for it. I think it was obvious that’s what I was gonna do, mood and atmosphere were good (we’d been holding hands for a bit at the bar, leaning closer etc.), so he had a chance to lurch…

Male, 31 (in a couple days..urgh) and while I’ve been in a relationship since 19 and have no idea what the scene is like now, in the past I didn’t ask. If you have to ask you are either 1) trying to seem better than you are or 2) you know she doesn’t want the kiss.
Like someone up thread said, kissing is expected…

32, never been a fan of the asking - just go for it (within reason you know, if things are going well)

I’m a woman, 51, and in my youth, it was comsidered weird and dorky to ask. But I am now a huge proponent of enthusiastic consent & everyone knowing where they stand. I’ve been grabbed and kissed unexpectadly. Sometimes it was welcome, sometimes it wasn’t.

What’s kissing?

I’m 27 and a woman. I’ve been asked a few times if I can be kissed and honestly it’s really sweet, especially when you’re already in a hug and looking into each other’s eyes. More often though they just go for it and it’s fine. I don’t usually ask when I take the lead but now I’m thinking I should, it’d be cute...

26 - Sense the moment for me, I’ve had guys ask in the past and it kind of took me out of the mood. I’m in a relationship now and we never asked in the beginning, but of course it’s whatever makes you feel comfortable, modern dating or not go with what you are cool with :) and good luck on your new dating adventure!

26 and some forewarning would be nice. It would be cute to say, “I’d like to kiss you.” Or at least if there was a build up, like holding hands or leaning against each other or long eye contact, rather than me turning my head and being attacked.

Eh I don’t know that I have a hard and fast rule. It’s entirely contextual for me. My last relationship it was apparent from the get go that we had chemistry, the kissing just happened naturally.

I feel like most of my first kisses have been just been sense the moment and go for it. I mean sometimes there is so much tension and leaning in that no words are necessary. I also think asking can be hot though. (33)

I was 22 when I kissed, for the first time, the woman who would become my wife. I did ask permission. I don’t recall asking after that, but I’d occasionally give warning like “I’m comin’ in hot” or “the airplane’s coming into the hangar”.  Now that I’m 47 I don’t recall the last time I’ve done any of that.

Both - depends on where I think. I am a woman, and I think I forced my now husband to kiss me by drunkingly grabbing him.

46.  In my day and age, asking was lame and a total mood-breaker.  I get that things are different now.  Been a long time since I had a first kiss, not sure how I’d react today.

I think asking is really sweet/sexy, plus makes sure everyone’s on the same page. But I’m old (34), and have been in a relationship for over a decade and no one asked back when we got together so I dunno. 

Woman, 31. If it’s a date just go for it if the mood and setting are right. Kissing is expected contact on a date. And you should be able to tell if she’s not feeling it.

Man, 29, go for it - slowly. If she pulls back, wither in embarrassment, give her a ride home in complete silence and avoid her forever. Dating is fun you’ll enjoy yourself.

Because she was attractive and its hard to move on from that.

jarvis cocker does it so its ok.

Assholery.

Alternatively, I think we just need better mechanisms to find emojis than (for example) the Apple keyboard that lumps hundreds of emojis into 10 categories, some of which are painfully arbitrary. Like can I get some kinda searchbox, pls?