Teams have gotten smart enough to realize that a roster spot is better spent on a skilled player rather than one who has nothing to bring to the table besides physicality.

Drugs can be a difficult habit to kick so we understand why he hasn’t sought your advice.

But I thought more guns = more safety. And an armed society is a polite society. And I also thought that alcohol sales were banned in SEC stadiums. And also, Hitler disarmed the Germans when he took over (not really, but I read it somewhere). Why can’t I bring my arsenal in to cheer on the Hogs?1Q?! How else are the…

Yeah, but only because those pork rind bags are hard to open.

I mention that in the post: “which would have been so comically bad it probably would have only marginally reduced my hospital bill anyway.”

In his 13 year career with the Bulls, Jordan played a total of 35,887 minutes. In a 14 year career, LeBron has played 40,844.

“If Ho-Sang would only wear a less-revered number then Tavares wouldn’t have to resort to punching his teammates in the face.”

The biggest frustration for the Mets and their fans has been, after all this time and effort, Tebow’s continued refusal to go past 2nd base.

Tebow, by contrast, looks exactly like someone who learned how to hit by looking really intensely at a pile of baseball cards and working backwards from there.

Puck hitting goal post on your teams goal is best sound

Ping of the puck going off the post woulda been my number one. When I played I almost liked hitting the post as much as actually scoring.

My sister did that once and was branded a harlot by the Puritans.

“These people have awful names.”

You know what’s going to happen when you raise wages though? A couple of unintended consequences:

Soon we’ll all need Coyotes to lead us into Canada.

What an asshole.

“and he’s only a sophomore so I don’t care”

Ah, the History Channel- where America’s racist uncles go when Fox News makes them think too much.

Look, it’s like they always say: boys will be rapists.