He will never get a smart phone from me. The only phone he will get is a dumb phone prepaid that can text and call.

I would pay more to watch an anything goes Olympics

This will change with the new administration. It will become much more acceptable to have a very close, intimate relationship with a Cousin.

There’s none of the Shakespearean space politics, enticingly florid dialogue, or experiential thrills of the best of George Lucas’s “Star Wars” entries (“Attack of the Clones” and “Revenge of the Sith”).

“Introducing our 500 Foot measuring tape, made of the finest malleable silver, in a handsome chestnut case. Great for exact placement of our ultra rare southern Mongolian bamboo yard set, or in my case, proximity to elementary schools.”

Going under in 2018 would allow them to splurge in an offseason that could include free agents Bryce Harper, Manny Machado, Josh Donaldson, Clayton Kershaw, David Price, Andrew McCutchen, Matt Harvey, Dallas Keuchel, Andrew Miller, Craig Kimbrel, Zach Britton

Punishments for older Kids between 11-16 (have 11 and 16 yr olds)

When reached for comment, Tony Romo said “fuck no”

Has anyone let Rizzo know that a strong staff and a shit bullpen isnt the way to go?

“Members of the marijuana commission are not getting free pot”

“National facilities are damaged”

The only thing good thing ever on Twitter? Twitter shoe roast

SHHH! No one who lives in Astoria should talk about it. I was there 5 years, just moved, and damned if all the hipsters are starting to take over. The charcoal chicken place I loved got replaced by an Asian vegan restaurant. That was when I knew it was time to leave.

Somewhere, a diminutive NFL owner is staring at his portrait of RGIII and sighing softly.

As an Islander fan, I’m more than happy to see him go. But at least he will have the opportunity to become a blogger.

It’s nature. Just prepare yourself, it’s inevitable that they will fight like animals. Mine don’t give each other a damn inch. But they do look cute together in the holiday photo.

What’s the worst thing to spill in the kitchen?

Junior Seau is still spinning in his grave over what they did to his family.

Should people who ask for a good steak well-done at a BBQ be refused, shunned, and never invited back?

There isnt a New Yorker that thinks the 80's were better. Except for Times Square. That was better.