Just a follow-up here. Not a single Eagles chant during the game. They played the Eagles fight song with the chant afterward after Pederson’s pitch. But that was it. And holy crap, it was the coldest 44 degrees I’ve ever experienced. I’m still cold this morning.

I’m headed to the Home Opener today and know that Kapler is going to get mercilessly booed during the team introductions. Making things worse will be the hour-long standing ovation Eagles coach Doug Pederson gets when throwing out the first ball. And of course, the nonstop E-A-G-L-E-S chants. But it’s football…

It’s moot now. The Phils announced today they’ve signed Kingery to a 6-year contract with 3 option years. Now, they just need to dump Mikael Franco to make room.

The Phillies are going to do the same thing with uber prospect Scott Kingery, who is slashing 419/732/1150 this spring with 4 HRs. He plays 2B, but they could easily make room for him by moving Crawford to 3B and Hernandez to SS. Or they could put Kingery at 3B, where he’s had reps this spring. But they’re committed…

I swooned. Right here at my desk. That is gorgeous.

1971 Super Beetle. Parallel parking was a breeze.

We don’t want to be Philly. We hate Philly drivers and loathe the shoobies that invade our beaches in the summer. We like their teams and their food. But that’s about it.

Love your work in “A Christmas Story.”

Hell no. I have authentic mom-and-pop hoagie shops, Primo Hoagies, and Wawa to choose from. I will never darken JM’s doorstep.

I’m in the NJ burbs of Philly and a Jersey Mike’s Subs just opened near me. What the hell is that? If I order a sub, there better be a damn periscope.

And anywhere else you can find a Wawa, which is slowly yet methodically taking over the East Coast. And I don’t know what that abomination in the picture at the top is, but it sure as hell isn’t a hoagie.

There’s no way in hell that fat tub of goo is only 239. His shape is more befitting of the ruler of Fatfuckistan. Why hasn’t the crew at Gizmodo summoned some geeky 3D imaging thingus to determine his actual tonnage?

There is no way the fat tub of goo in the Oval Office only weighs 239. I’m 55 years old, 6-1, 215 pounds, and he looks waaaaaaaay bigger than me. He’s yuge. I’m extremely disappointed Magary hasn’t commissioned some kind of 3D imaging test to figure out his actual weight. I’m guessing he’s closer to 300. Maybe the doc…

Insighty McInsightface. Problem solved.

Phuck you.

So they didn’t lose to the Rams. They lost Wentz instead. This is why we can’t have nice things.

My sister has already requested a vacation day for the day after the Super Bowl for an Eagles parade down Broad Street. I hate my family. And I’m an Eagles fan. I’m confident they’ll lose to the Rams and Dallas, stumble into the playoffs and then stumble out in the first round.

I bought the OneBlade and tried it for daily shaving. I can’t get it close enough for my liking. Maybe I’m doing something wrong.

I bought the OneBlade and tried it for daily shaving. I can’t get it close enough for my liking. Maybe I’m doing…

I’d love to see the Phillies move a farm team to Camden - maybe they can move their NY-Penn League team from Williamsport.

Good.