You joke, but there are people actually this retarded. 

Hardly surprising, but not one mention of our $1 trillion deficit or $22 trillion debt.

Meh

Yep, definitely a football game. 

I’m personally fine with these sites sucking Amazon’s dick, I did get a great deal on a shower curtain last week.

Always found it odd that they treat depression, as I always get extremely depressed while taking them. Then again, I’m no where near micro-dosing. LSD on the other hand, happy fun times. 

The fact that Trump likes Popeye’s, honestly doesn’t bother me that much. Is it racist towards orange people? Maybe? I don’t even know.

If it isn't an echo chamber, I'm steering clear. 

And you have a wrong opinion. Who gives a shit. 

Yes.

Really enjoyed Secret Aardvark, but I go through it too fast for the price tag. I tossed some wings in it and they were a huge hit with friends I typically use Louisiana Hot Sauce, I get it almost free from work which is great since I eat pretty much everything with hot sauce.

Really enjoyed Secret Aardvark, but I go through it too fast for the price tag. I tossed some wings in it and they…

I’ve been browsing Twitter and noticed that millions of people don’t seem to care about Maroon 5 and the Superbowl halftime show.

Without cable news though, we’d just be here reading about Kinja deals and offensive things comics say.

A) That’s not how the world works. You don’t buy a fire extinguisher for your home because you’re living in fear of fire.

In the meantime, you’ll be happy to prostrate yourself in the face of danger? I imagine you’ve lived a sheltered life? Bad things happening aren’t a fucking fantasy for most people. 

The world is never going to be 100% safe, and there will always be guns. The US isn’t Australia. Banning guns here would go over about as well as prohibition. If you don’t want to protect yourself and those you care about, that’s your choice. I can’t imagine it.

I feel like your comment should just replace the article. It’s less wordy and says just as much. I don’t think they appreciate how precious time is.

Once you realize there's no such thing as a trustworthy news source, life gets a bit more stress free. 

Confirmed: Sarah Huckabee Sanders is a press secretary.

Your said that, then had the gall to say “come out for reality?”