When I played this game, I thought this was a parody of R Kelly's closet stuff. But then, yeah. All of this was real.

Oh no! Sony's products have been dropping in quality since 2005. They seem to also have adopted the '5 year plan', where your electronics will destroy itself after a few years. People used to talk about how their Sony product is still ticking after 10 years. Not anymore.

Are you allowed to bring things in? Because I would totally just bring a laptop and surf all day.

This idea may be rude, but fuck it - People need to know. Just a bunch of hired help to berate people for stinking. They're not going around sniffing armpits, but if they can smell you while walking around the expo, then they can call you out and tell you to go and clean yourself up.

None of these stories seem impressive to me. PAX-east 2012 must have been a quieter show, or people are waiting for PAX to reveal their big news.

I think it's important to cater towards all things video games related. That we as gamers don't live in a happy bubble devoid of the rest of society.

I want to see you speed through Marble Zone. Because that level is nothing but platforming.

Then why are you buying used, rented games if you're not planning to wait? Sounds like you just want to bitch about things.

Where I work, we kick people out if they're 1) super drunk, 2) acting like a douche. If you're acting like a douche, then you DESERVE to be kicked out.

The fact that he said that means he'll have the fucking coolest baby in the world. He can't procreate cause maybe his girlfriend can't, or he can't. Why are you being such an asshole?

What?! Quake and Unreal, you can die pretty quickly with well placed rockets, or the rail gun, or any plasma weapon. Most deathmatches can easily rack about 100 kills in 10 minutes. I think he's referring to Halo as a bullet sponge.

Mmm... i recommend you play the ones on the Genesis. Sure, there are moments when you're running through the levels. But that's about 30% of the game.

If it's anything like digital distribution online, those games you want to play will be on sale for $5-10 a year or two after they're released.

So what you're implying is that, we have to catch politicians in the act! You get a camera, and I'll get a bus of schoolchildren!

Aren't you a sex offender if you 1) drunkenly pee in a park bush and a bunch of kids caught you? or 2) had porn ads pop up while you're in the library? There's also the college girl who showed her butt on the bus.

Really? Cortana got digital breast implants?

The Shadowrun game I always wanted would be the Genesis version with all the kinks ironed out. I have very fond memories of being a runner, breaking into a Corp, jedi-mindtricking security, hacking into their matrix to turn off their systems, rescuing the quest guy, and then selling off the sweet data for sweet data…

When I was a kid, I always wanted to buy those hell money in the Asian Supermarket near my house. It actually says Hell Bank Note on it and it came in packs with millions of dollars worth on it. My sister told me they were for dead people, and I kinda wanted to know a dead person so I can lavish them with billions of…

I can't play the first Witcher. Like, I literally cannot play it. As in, I don't understand the buttons, and as many times as I look at the keyboard commands, and I push buttons, but everything moves funky. He moves funny, he attacks funny, I don't know if there's hit detection.

I was about to freak out too, but then I realize it was 3 minutes long each. So really, if you add it all together into 15-minute chunks, it's more of a 13-episode series. I love your characterization. I'd hire you in a minute. :)