Sir, there was a sign that said don’t drink the sprinkler water, so I made sun tea with it and now I have an infection. What are you gonna do about it?

And conversely, only a man with zero sexual interest in women could stand being married to someone whose father desperately wants to fuck her.

I’ve been saying Putin’s Puppet. Accurate, and alliterative.

I’m not crying, I’m just allergic to jerks!

I’ve learned more about orcas from footage of them hunting seals on ice floes and, on a darker note, killing great white sharks than from Sea World’s dog and pony shows. Even if it weren’t inhumane, the crap Sea World’s been doing is wrong for making the public see these amazing wild animals like trained puppies.

Yeah, it is. I wish I knew who did it, because they got the body horror down pat.

I don’t believe in euphemisms but shark week is too fun to pass up.

I really dislike the terms vulva and vagina. They’re so clinical and dispassionate. I wish twat and cunt would make comebacks as simply descriptive and not derogatory. We say ass, arse, or butt, not posterior; breast, not mammary glands; limbs, not appendages, but when it comes to female genitalia only the Latin terms…

More like 983, IMO.

In medieval times it was understood that a ruler was obligated to feed and protect their people, so right now’s even worse.

Depends on the manor in which you wear it.

Also men. Shatterstar has some very delicate pixie feets there.

I found an uncensored version of pic #2. He can’t even hold his wiener when he pees.

I can’t decide if he’s more like Pétain https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philippe_P%C3%A9tain or Quisling https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vidkun_Quisling

If our CIA were half as Machiavellian as conspiracy theorists believe, it would’ve assassinated all three by now. Sigh.

I hate his ugly creepy albino Aryan Nazi white supremacist infected ass boil of a face. I hope that before I die in a nuclear war or whatever I at least get the satisfaction of seeing him post-polonium tea party when he’s no longer useful to Putin.

Drowned in moonlight, strangled by her own bra, kept in a pill bottle.

There have been a few negative human/orca interactions in the wild, but none causing major injury or death. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killer_whale_attacks_on_humans#Incidents_with_wild_orcas 

I’m not anti-aquariums at all, but some animals just aren’t suited to captivity. Look at the failed attempts to keep juvenile great white sharks in captivity. The most successful attempt was aborted when the shark started to kill her tank mates. In contrast, epaulette sharks can walk right from the ocean into a…

You’re right. Save pity for those who live far away enough from likely targets and will survive the aftermath.