Yeah, it would be great if there was a form of birth control that was 100% effective. I've just known so many girls who had scares or actual babies because they did things like forget four pills in a row, or refill late because they had to wait to get paid. Eliminating user error doesn't eliminate all chance of…

I think this is the long and short of it. His father was talking about a time when there were no age of consent laws, and the concept of "consent" was really not part of the public consciousness at all. There was no concept of rape within a marriage, and the law didn't protect wives from rape or abuse by their…

Yeah this smells like a stunt to promote the GOP/ALEC's latest state-level pet project, charter schools, to me.

I know a lovely, accomplished young woman with a wonderful, considerate toddler age son. She was college age when she was with the child's father, they were not married, and she comes from a very virginity-obsessed "Christian" family. Oh they love her, and they love her son, but that doesn't stop them from giving…

But of course! Ari is back for like, two days, gets COTD, and restores hope for the wit and substance of yore to all of Jez-dom.

I'm with you here. Everyone in college spends some time—sometimes all of college—reciting and acting out the gender roles they know. They haven't got it all worked out. Better the "white knight" than the uber macho drunk rapist. I'd rather see this as a teachable moment—that yes, there's plenty of…

Powerful brain-block on that guy. Oy, indeed.

I actually know a couple married for over ten years who have this agreement, though the lack of desire for children was mutual from the start. If someone absolutely knows they want children, or absolutely knows they do not, they should deal with that early in the relationship. I think "Would you be comfortable using…

This made me laugh a rueful laugh.

Thank you for expressing that you can indeed have thoughts about your sex life—even a kinky sex life—without it losing its sexiness.

I'll cut to the chase before more substance. There's good sex advice out there. This is not it. For reference, here's an old Jez advice article about anal sex that I think does a great job of being supportive and informative without shitting on anybody who isn't into it.

Such a simple concept... *sigh*

I don't see where I made any judgments about any sex act consenting adults decide to engage in. I don't see where I called any act degrading or made any sociopolitical statements about any sex act. You know exactly nothing about my sex life, what I do or don't do, or even my thoughts about particular acts that other…

You're absolutely right, of course. I was partly referencing the fact that many sixteen-year-olds' default response to any suggestion of their responsibility toward others is, "Ugh, so lame!" :)

Seriously, "Touch his butthole by surprise!" has been a Cosmo go-to sex tip since the fucking 90's.

Don't think about sex, ever—JUST DO!!! There's no need to be totally certain that your partner is down for you putting something inside their body—just try it, and then keep trying it until they give up and let you, or else break up with you so you can find someone who isn't so uptight. Speaking of uptight, how…

WORD. That's exactly the problem. It's not about "asking permission," it's about communicating clearly what you'd like to do, and knowing with absolute certainty that your partner is down for it. Anybody who thinks that's lame ought to check their calendar and see if they are still sixteen years old.

It's just the world, unfortunately. Or were you blissfully unaware that most rapes are committed by someone the victim knows, and that women are most likely to be murdered in their own homes by a current or former romantic partner?

The most effective thing you can do is let her know you won't participate in it with her. Possible non-lecturing responses: "Huh. I guess I just don't notice other people's outfits that much."