Anticipation is key! I’ve avoided a number of wrecks by realizing the other driver is a dumb ass.

If he hollers, let him go, Lewis.

When we have kids I think I’ll not only install a lock on the door, but an intercom with an automated menu: “If this is an emergency, please dial 911. For bed wetting, press 1; for monsters and/or nightmares, press 2...”

4: It stops you from scratching your anus in your sleep.

The whole thing, swimming in a dumpster and the press release, is the most Philly thing since Bernie Parent snorting lines off a few female Flyers fans’ asses.

I think there’s also a third class of poster that is trying to cover up a bad relationship. Way before the internet, my parents had some friends who were overly lovey in public. The husband made the wife homemade Valentine’s Day cards and gave her flowers all the time. Turns out their marriage was a nightmare, and he…

On Monday I will be 53. I have an appointment for a goal-setting fitness regime with an incredibly hot and ripped instructor. I make that lady in the photo look like an Olympic diving champion. I’m going anyway. I fucking don’t care anymore. I want to get healthy. Please keep living your life like a diving champion.…

Date older.

Every once in a while I read stuff like this and realize how gloriously happy I am to be approaching 26 years married. Not that these aren’t sensible guidelines, but just thinking about all the unwritten rules that aren’t covered here terrifies me.

I was thinking the same thing as well—there’s a pretty wide gap between I’ve realized my parents are bigoted and they ruin any encounter we have with them/are nothing but toxic.

Would you rather fight 100 duck-sized horses or 1 horse-sized duck? Would you rather have a rich dad who is a porn star or a poor dad who is the school janitor?

One thing to note: the AAAA cells are usually reverse polarity. And this arrangement isn’t always used, sometimes they are flat cells. With lantern batteries sometimes they contain 4 standard D batteries. And sometimes they won’t. I’d post a couple pictures but I can’t get mobile kinja and Google pictures to play nice.

That’s where I think the confusion is for forced-birthers who insist a woman will “regret” their abortion- they mistake being bummed about having to go through it as regret. No one is happy to get an abortion, most just feel relieved. In a perfect world, we would never need abortions because our birth control planning…

OMG For art history class as a fun way to end the class we were asked to create a fictional pope and explain how he met his end. Mine was Pope Obnoxious the IV preached against gluttony while stealing food from the poor and hated women. I had him die via rogue nun assassins.

Stupid, or a narcissist. My money’s on the latter.

Discombobulated needs to be careful with that one, she can turn this around and say he was the one who initiated the flirting. Then he’d really have a shit storm on his hand.

If you never leave your house, it’s easy to see your entire world.