An elderly gentleman needs a nap sometimes.

Ok. That guy with the hat.

This makes sense. You get the warranty for your soul from the manufacturer, you need to get your regularly scheduled maintenance intervals from manufacturer approved dealers, otherwise who knows what kind of substandard lube and tune will take place.

Yes.

He wasn’t shot because he had a gun.

This is great and reminds me of the time that an article about how Julia Roberts liked playing Xbox had a lot of unnecessary non sequiturs about how all the men around her were getting boners all day.

Can we maybe try to move away from this clickbait TMZ crap of ‘snaps’ and ‘goes off’, when what I hear is someone who’s fed up but still fundamentally coherent.

Can we get number 2 to be the center of an op-ed piece over on jezebel? I want to see comments about Oldsmobile entitlement and how those bigots would never elect a Miata. Even though a Miata would never do that.

I can kind of buy it? In weird small businesses, I see people who’ve practically got tenure, and get strange benefits just because the person ‘in charge’ is only barely in charge of them, or is actually friends. Like, there’s a guy who’s been there 12 years, and may take days off at random for hangovers, but god…

For real. When my parents and I lived in japan, our neighbors invited us over for dinner one night, and had, for some reason, pillows to sit on that had american flag designs. I couldn’t tell if it was a joke, or they thought it was genuinely flattering, or if they were trying to make a point, but I didn’t say…

They did. The problem is that government changed the recommendations in committee as part of promoting grain and produce consumption (including fruits that often have the same or higher sugar content as candy bars).

A rebel in Zambia?

I don’t think the issue is about terrifying kids anymore than we already do. Shame is part of the problem, and the compromises shame has created. We don’t want young men preying on young women, or, more fundamentally, anybody having casual anything, so we’ve taken all these steps to create ‘good, clean’ ways for men…

Britain shocked to realize that deductive reasoning about how babies are made can be applied to royalty; secedes from European Union.

It would help if they were given the budget to maintain the personnel they’re supposed to have at anything higher than minimum wage.

Right? Ok, so, this is weird for a very specific reason to me.

If we’re honest, the only proper way for a woman to be attired is nude, with ceramic pot full of water balanced on her head. Regardless of what she’s doing.

Following the announcement came rumors of disturbing allegations that the male Pelican began a relationship with a Toucan while having ‘migrated’ for the winter. The lady Pelican said she was demeaned and abused—told her beak-sack wasn’t as firm as a younger Pelicans, and that she smelled like fish all the time, even…

Stacey self-identifies as a white man. Don’t shame her.

Imagine a world in which getting in an accident—no matter whose fault it is—is bad and dangerous.