So — the guns that concern me belong to policemen everywhere. Since I cannot survivably exercise the second amendment, I can’t give two figs about gun control. The cops cannot control much of anything in my community, so I’m not sure how more laws are going to miraculously make them more effective at this particular…

I’m 38 and I give myself hand jobs nearly every day.

Hey, nothing wrong with an old fashioned every once in a while.

Are you really arguing the guy who won 8 gold medals in one Olympics is overrated?

No surprise that Irby hates natural athletes after all those years on the bench.

“Vechery went into the latest custody hearing without a lawyer.”

And we wore an onion on our belt (which was the fashion at the time)...

I don’t understand how this is a gender thing. Myself and all my male friends shave there too.

I think you take things a bit too personally.

That pee is the best reason to eat asparagus. It always cracks me up, especially in a public toilet area.

Wait, Deadspin writers purposely misconstruing a take to promote conversation? I think you might have it all wrong.

This is a pedantic take, at best. OF COURSE politics is relatable to just about everything in some way. Even though the tweets you mention have some connection to larger political issues, I would never call them “political” tweets—not even close. I take Schefter’s view as being against actively engaging in political…

Big deal. Toronto spends millions and doesn't have an NHL team either.

I was rooting for Lebron to win, and im not trying to be a cynic, but how can it possibly be an “against all odds story” all the time he’s the best player in the world and has done the things we’ve seen this series for 13 years.

To be fair, Stephen’s also a pretty outstanding dribbler, even though he's mostly known for being one of the most renowned physicists.

This is one of my favs:

The guy on the left only does abs.

“The girls are on their way, bro, I swear......”

Deadspin staff meeting?

I like to do Crossfit to tear apart my shoulder and TRX to destroy my back. Does anyone have any ideas how to ruin my knees, or should I stick to running on concrete?