And that's why I love Bones

I don't know how you can take anyone seriously who goes by Jim Bob. That's some hick shit.

You’re the hero who made an honest man/woman out of Daisy “The Horndog” Hornberg.

Bunsen Honeydew is entirely too far down this list.

Wow; I thought that was Bruce Campbell!

As a fat, lazy middle-aged guy, who’s spouse has little interest in spending evenings with, you tell me, where’s a better place to spend my time than with The Simpsons? (if you say Deadspin, I’ll hunt down Magary)

Yeah... Plus that husband and Ina... Have you ever seen the I’m-ok-he’s-gay-but-we’re-married thing done so well?

It really was the most enjoyable cooking show I can remember!

I've found them mildly entertaining, but you are wrong. Look at what amounts to top rated comedy today on the networks: Big Bang Theory? Holy fuck, you want to talk about awful! And before that? two and a half poorly written dipshits? And before that? Everybody somewhat enjoys Raymond. No thanks, I'll still take The…

Oh, Albert, I once respected you.

Oh, man, his show with Julia Child was great. One episode, they made hamburgers. First, it was hysterical listening to them both say “hamburger” in their funny accents. But the best part was the end of the show when she asked him what he wanted to drink with his hamburger. It went something like this:

I can’t vouch for how many of the recipes from 1973 have been included in subsequent versions, so if you boot up your iPad to find that Parboiled Shad Roe (we’ll get there) has not made the digital leap, consider that you are using a paper-thin, wireless computer in your air-conditioned kitchen, and the creator of the…

Uh, and Congress will tell you DC is not a state. Can’t have all them black people having autonomy. Also: since Maryland owns the Poromac River, DC doesn’t technically border Virginia. It’s something like Maryland’s asshole... If only because it's where the rest of the country sends its politicians.

Sorry for the poor choice of words, but really: Fuck Texas

Why did the boyfriend get parole already and Passion has not? This seems tremendously unfair since there’s no indication here of poor or negative behavior on her part.

I'm pooping right now!

It cheated?

“Boobies go here” said the sexist that isn't me (cuz I'm the gay... but come on, that's some low-hanging... fruit). Which way is the door?