Anytime an adult uses the word “haters” to defend themselves, I automatically assume they are in the wrong. It’s a bullshit word used by bullshitters.

2gether should be on this show.

You sure packed a lot of funny into one little sentence.

It’s fairly obvious that it’s Colin Jost, no?

He wishes!

Drake is serving young Luke Perry.

My Dad was a wonderful man. He took my sister and I to breakfast every Saturday morning so Mom could sleep in. This happened every Saturday (I got cheeseburgers, sis chocolate chip pancakes) no matter how long he’d been on the road (selling hunks of steel - that z-shaped thing your bike pedal is on is a “forging”). He…

I learned a rule from a friend a while ago, and have come to believe in it 100%.

I mean, this seems like common goddamn sense. What did she think was gonna happen? Is everyone a fucking idiot now? Am I an idiot? Are we all idiots? Is this life?

I can’t wait to hear Michael K’s take on this.

They can be a tad neurotic tho

My nephew Washing Machine makes weird noises and is clearly unbalanced.

If I were the judge it’d be excruciating to have to say “Mr. Machine” so many times without visibly rolling my eyes.

IMO their only redeeming quality is that they seem to detest each other as much as I detest their music. One word: Wonderwall.

It is the way of our people.

Kirsten Dunst is engaged to Landry? Huh.

Hey Bu-uddy, it’s The Wea-sel.

It’s also delightfully shady (e.g. casually equated People readership with her mom’s garden club). We see you!

“All I got was a rock....”