she was upset because jay-z told her she looks like Orlando jones

ATTENTION ALL LADIES:

You don't have to tell me, I used to work at Bauer.

I know no one cares about this, but I'll say it anyway. If casinos are banning you for life, you do not have a gambling problem. You are actually freakishly good at it.

same, kris

I can't help but think he orders them the following nonsense: "just a mesclun salad and water with lemon. And have a bottle of 2000 Krug chilled on the table."

OH THANK GOD. I swear, this is me every Wednesday waiting for this segment:

I sent Anna Wintour a picture of me wearing my sweatpants and a Dog the Bounty Hunter t-shirt I got on sale at a Family Dollar store and asked her if it was cool if I went tonight. She told me I could wear the outfit at the Met Gala, but only if I agreed to sit with Giuliana Rancic. I turned her down.

Eat these. They will settle your stomach.

That shit is Tackée Harry.

If you think Triumph is awful, you obviously have a taste issue.

Neighbors prayed for the "Sound of Silence"

Was he choking her in the shallow water before she got too deep? Because that's totally cool if you know what I mean. Doo'yah?

And people with too much time on their hands. My #shelfie would resemble something like this:

Holy crap, where did you find a photo of my bffs?

Isn't the simple answer here to just not go to every wedding you're invited to? I've been invited to destination weddings/showers/parties and it is always really easy: Sorry "X" - I'd love to celebrate with you but I/we just can't afford to do that right now. I hope you have an amazing day - I can't wait to see…

He cheated with Kate Bosworth, Natalie Imbruglia and Alexa Chung.

15. You are allowed to throw, scott free, exactly one punch in the face to the friend or relative that states one of the following, 'Why don't you just elope?', 'I can't believe you are paying X for Y!?!?' or 'Oh that wasn't important for OUR wedding.' Choose wisely.

"Help!"