Not to post a non-joke, but is there a way that you guys know for sure the emails are from Missanelli and not made-up? I personally can't stand the guy, and if there was one email, I would say yeah, that's definitely possible, because he comes off as a smug prick. But this just seems like too much, especially in…

Every time I hear "Love Train" in a Coors Light commercial, I want to throw myself under it.

Relevant - The Onion on "Bad to the Bone" in 1997:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/bad-t…

I thought you were being facetious about the jumping thing. I'll be damned if I will pay money to entertain someone else's kids so they can drink. But, to each his own.

YES! FUCK giant kids' parties and the parents who throw them! Last October my niece, who doesn't have a pot to piss in and who lives in her parent's basement, threw her three year old a giant blow-out-style party, with a rented hall, clowns, bouncy house and the whole nine, all just to prove to the world that she is…

You must adhere to the "the number of kids cannot exceed the age of the birthday boy/girl" rule. This is critical to keeping things under control. Kid is turning seven? Great, you get to invite at most six friends. If people don't like it? Fuck them. This is the type of hard and fast rule that prevents society from…

Age 1 is for family and close friends. It's the only kids birthday party that won't require entertaining numerous screaming children.

Birthday parties are one of the few reasons I was glad my kids were born so close together (11.5 months age difference, so their birthdays are 18 days apart). All kids want a party, but its a privilege, not a right. So every year I pick a day smack in between their birthdays, let them each invite 2 friends and trek…

Wife: We should have a birthday party for ILCB Jr. this year and invite his preschool classmates?
Me: Why? We haven't before.
Wife: Because he's been to other classmates' parties and this his last year before he starts Kindergarten.
Me: 1) I didn't ask those parents to throw a party and invite him.
2) Every single…

Birthday parties for a one year old are dumb. My friends super boring wife is already planning their kids birthday party 6 months in advance. I look forward to declining their invitation with a jerk off motion.

Oswalt rules. Birthdays age 1-10, 13, 18 (shoot a hole through a ballot), 19, 20, 21, then on every new set of tens (30, 40, 50). You're 26? Fuck you, go to work. After 100 you get to break a new law every year. If you make it to 120, you become President.

In my day, it was just the neighborhood kids in your grade who you went to school with. No biggie, since all the parents knew each other and hung out all the time anyway. You played sports, you ate, someone got hit in the face with a soccer ball, you moved on with life.

What my parents did from say my 8th through 12th birthday is have a few of my friends over and order the February WWF PPV that coincided with President's Day and just have us crash in the living room when it finally ended. So the cost of the PPV, a Crave case, and minimal clean-up made it pretty cheap, easy, and…

Goodie bags and presents - both are piles of crap. For any parties my kids have, I specifically say "No Gifts" on the invite, with the implied quid pro quo being that your little twerp isn't getting a goodie bag either. I think most parents like that tradeoff, but are too afraid to do it.

Hey, did you guys know that LeGarrette Blount once punched another player in the face back in college? Thought it might be relevant. #hotsportstakes

This is just fucking stupid. If the first thought you have when reading this story is 'this just, it reminds of those god damn Republicans!', then it might be time to step away from the fringe.

Banned for life? So what's he supposed to do now, just go to Vegas every few months and sign baseball writer memorabilia for 20 bucks a pop?

Not a surprise, but it kinda proves LeBatard's point that those in the BBWAA have a "holier than thou" attitude.

This was part of the plan, though, right? I mean, you guys did foresee that this was where this was going to lead? This isn't a surprise...is it?