“Please don’t hold it against the ladies.”

It could have been worse. Remember that time Miss New Jersey ripped the crown off the head of Miss Rhode Island and then it exploded?

I’m Ron Burgandy?

Reading all that is making my eyes involuntarily roll back into my head.

America’s chocolate game is WEAK. So weak.

Fancy chocolate is overrated anyway. Give me Toblerone or Milka and I am good.

Shouldn’t you be down at the park telling kids that Santa’s not real??

Rumor has it that she’s just a great singer.

And her name was Jyoti Singh, since she was not named in the article. Remember her name.

Maybe, though that’s not certain. If I were a friend or relative of the victim, however, I would be happy with such an outcome. I know it grosses many civilized people out to mention this, but revenge *is* part of many people’s sense of justice. Including mine. I’m pretty certain I’d be at rest spending my life in…

This is what people need to know.

I can see Nicki in her dressing room in Angola muttering to herself:

Rough translation:

And he calls himself

What an object of heated romantic interest in the real world.

Let’s take a moment to look at the stunning beauty that is Jeffrey Wells...

Ok Kylie. Let’s talk.

Sign me up. I’ll watch just about anything with Tina Fey in it.

I am a Dylan Panthers fan.

Cheetahs have amazing spatial intelligence but I sure as shit wouldn’t take one’s opinions on politics very seriously.