I didn’t say it couldn’t work, just from the people I personally have known it didn’t, minus the one case I mentioned.

I didn’t say it couldn’t work, just from the people I personally have known it didn’t, minus the one case I mentioned. Plus, in VbN’s letter, he stayed they had only been dating a few months, decided a month ago to be “monogamous” except she still wants her side action too. “It’s just sex. It doesn’t mean anything.”…

I know exactly one couple that have been able to make it work. ONE.

Ah, I was carefully trying not to write them off, suggesting a problem of model, but leaving the responsibility for exploring that to the reader. I apologize for cutting corners there and being overly harsh, not my intent.

Ahhh okay, I couldn’t tell if you were being self-deprecating or trying to present the view as a fact.

<I>Conversely, men are basically left with two choices: remain single pretty much forever or accept whatever scraps they’re offered with a smile and then cling on like grim death.</I>

There is disparity between women and men in dating, but conceptualizing relationships as a market is not reasonable. Women aren’t selling themselves or their sex when they pursue a relationship with men. If men think they’re in a market to buy these things, then I’m not surprised that many of them find it difficult to…

Really? It scares you when a girl wants to open the relationship?

Much more succinct than my own response, but the same outcome.

First, I don’t know that the desire is gendered. Plenty of guys want to go poly or open too.

Seconded. Run, run far, run fast, do not look back, and when you feel that you have run far enough... run another couple of blocks to be sure. That is a gigantic can of batshit-crazy you’ve opened up and the more distance between you and that business, the better.

VBN - You guys are simply not compatible, and it would be best for both of you to save yourselves a lot of heartache and amicably end your relationship now. This disagreement is not over something trivial like what TV shows you like to watch or what type of decorations you want in your apartment. It’s serious. Polyamor…

From my experience this isn’t nirmal. I’ve meet a lot of people of varying maturity levels while in college. Some people still act like they are 16, but the majority do not. It’s up to you, you can hangout with the adults who act like children, or you can find new friends who aren’t L.A.R.P.ing episodes of Degrassi.

^^^ What they said.

By mid-way through the letter, I had to scroll back to the top to look at their ages again. I was super-fucking confused because I suddenly thought I was reading a letter from a high school student or college freshman.

It’s a cultural shift, it happens every so often. Until pretty recent, any woman talking about wanting this kind of relationship was called a slut and shamed for it. However, more and more have opened (haha pun) up about it and it’s becoming more socially acceptable. My guess is that a lot of women have wanted this in…

1. Monogamy, or the lack of, will always be a big part of couples breaking up. It’s sad when you love someone and see that your ideas on the subject don’t match. Better to know sooner than later, though. 

RE: Vanilla

This type of thing genuinely scares me about relationships. I’ve mostly been reading that girl’s are wanting to have their relationship open and most times from out of nowhere. What's going on here?

This is high-school drama, not something you should be doing as grown-ass adults.