Jesus christ I'm sobbing like a crazy person

I mean if it makes her happy then good for her, but I refuse to sit here and pretend that my 5 year old couldn't have made that shit.

Life hack: If you want an abortion make a GoFundMe and say the money will be used to take care of your bundle of joy.

I like to pretend I'm Mrs. Jet Setter when I travel (Mr. Jet Setter was held up in Rome on business), so I like to dress up. If other people are dressed like slobs, great! I get to look even better.

Y'all really need to calm the fuck down with the "shade" stuff. You know you're still allowed to say "insulted" right?

Wow

It wasn't heavy makeup. I know it's a judgement call by the DMV employees, that's exactly the problem. A whole bunch of ignorant middle aged people telling others what's "acceptable" to wear? Yeah, that's gonna work out.

But a trans boy can't wear makeup

That's funny, and sad. The protesters outside this clinic were yelling "Just drop your baby off at a fire station! It's free!" The other escorts and I were joking that they should start a social media campaign: #dropitoff

I just came back from volunteering at an abortion clinic. The protesters were terrible but I'm glad I did it.

Fuck you Lindy. Fuck you for giving me happiness and then yanking it away.

Boo you whore, you can't leave!

No you moron, I'm talking about your argument with the author over your misunderstanding of what she was saying. You're just hoping and praying for someone to come along to argue with, aren't you? Sorry, it's not gonna be me.

Holy shit dude you are all worked up over literally nothing

Yes, the pitch that Chris Pratt (who I've liked since Parks and Rec) threw was indeed terrible. By the way I've liked him since Parks and Rec.

I wasn't a fan of Joan Rivers but you'd think her death would at least stay at the top of the page for a day.

Is simultaneous orgasm really that difficult for people?

:( RIP

Parks and Rec Pratt fan 4 LYFE!

Come on, Mindy, make us proud.