You have shown that a helpful TSA agent exists.

Quick, somebody call Matt Paxton!

Don't you mean that you signed "douche"?

What's the OnStar equivalent of Scroogled?

Niiice.

64 kids?

That's not for me to say.

I keep one in the kitchen as a weather station/internet radio/Amazon streaming video device for "free" Prime video.

Worth bringing back.

Don't worry, I'm sure this will all work out fine.

I didn't see your post before I posted my story above.

While filling up my rental car in Las Vegas a very aggressive, not-quite-right panhandler got in my face, demanding money.

It should be C4, as in "Guaranteed to blow up on you."

We could just sell you a second C4 to go with this one, you know, to give you a convenient way to store your spares.

We're fresh out. Could I interest you in a thousand dollar water pump?

I wonder if masks with the front end of the car being worked have ever been fashioned for booth babes to wear.

You rang?

"It" apparently isn't a sammich.

I did not know that.

Suicide door, yes.