Like a houseguest. Marvelous at first and full of possibilities, but if left unsupervised for too long, they can be a real pain.

25 weeks is considered the absolute earliest a preemie can survive. I had a patient once who was pregnant and had stage four breast cancer that was metastasizing to her liver and other organs. She was dying, like, any minute, and was unable to receive chemo without killing her baby, and refused an abortion (her choice…

Also, I had a c-section at 25 weeks. At that stage they have to do a classical c-section, so VBAC will never be an option for me. And I only have partial feeling around my incision. The doctors said, "Well, the nerves were cut and they don't always heal back together." This was for a pregnancy I very much wanted and…

Tanya is just saying what we are all thinking!

When I was in college, I covered for a law firm's receptionist when she was out. The firm shared a reception area with the county mental health commissioner, which means that he decided whether people should be forcibly committed to a psychiatric hospital or rehab when a petition was filed. Like with Britney Spears…

This story comes, as do most of my better ones, from my time working at Space Camp. I was working an adult weeklong camp during the off season and it came to the time of week when the campers participated in their extended mission which was eight hours long. I was working the SpaceHab area which is the self contained…

I work with teenagers. These are actual things that I have had to say in the last 7 weeks:

What do you want to hear about first?

Things I have experienced as a Disney cast member:

I know that doesn't need to be said, but I am saying it anyway. Robin Williams had a bravery few people will ever know. He used his own torment to bring humor and joy to millions. He fought his demons long enough to be there for his family and raise his beautiful baby daughter into a wonderful young woman. He…

You know what I think? I think anyone who's never stood and stared suicide in the face should shut the fuck up. I think anyone who hasn't cried themselves to sleep and wake in the morning only to find fresh tears are already falling should sit the fuck down. I think anyone who doesn't understand what it's like to be…

Ha exactly. Joke's on the deodorant industry because I use men's as well! No fucks given.

Well, I buy men's deoderant, that's what. Men are stinkier and generally sweatier than women (is that really true? I dunno.); therefore, men's deoderant should be able to handle my stinkiest stink.

but at least one of those problems won't be "You propped me up on a tv show about how fucking crazy you are. "

Easy solution: don't wear thongs.

I don't want to be that person, but i love this story and if they fuck this up I SWEAR TO GOD

Can you imagine? You are out on a date with a seemingly normal guy who loses his shit over only getting a CUP of blue cheese. Then eats a bowl of blue cheese in a weird way. Like a Seinfeld episode.

Not only that, but the customer apparently would specifically request 'hand-squeezing'. I'd rather search for a flag in a vat of Family Double Dare ooze than hand-squeeze the mayo out of someone's coleslaw.

I had to wear a catheter bag on vacation last summer – and that is nothing compared to a permanent colostomy bag. It was a very humbling experience. I couldn't go swimming in public with everyone else because it would show – even though it's a closed system and in no danger of leaking. I couldn't deal with the looks.…

THIS is what is meant by "compassionate care." Acknowledging that patients are people who want the same things as everybody else, including nights out with family and friends.