The length of a movie today seems like a statement of significance, like the film has so much to say that it requires a long running time.

Ha!

I can’t wait to get lost and frustrated at the monkeys in the “I just can’t wait to be king” segment of The Lion King..

Finally, an expert opinion I can trust.

No self respecting HVAC person would tell you to set your away temp more than 3-4 degrees from your home temp. When you get home your heat pump will never turn off trying to cool your house the seven degrees listed above.

Right!? Who can sleep in a hot house?? I crank it down to 68-69 at night!

I recently rewatched the whole series, and I didn’t think Phantom Menace was that bad. Attack of the Clones is so much worse. The outdated CGI is way overused compared to Phantom Menace, which relied on a surprising amount of practical effects. Anakin comes off as such an unlikable creep. Padme is rightfully turned…

Thing is, in 1999 audiences left theaters satisfied, almost giddy, with Episode 1. Darth Maul was the character with the biggest impact and the climatic battle ended a 16 year light saber battle drought. It was in the years that followed that the nerd echo chamber exploded and public derision for the film came to the…

This continues to be one of the worst, most naive takes on Deadspin. Sometimes, you can’t operate on what you wish was true and you have to operate on what *is* true.

In regards to your Phelps example, let’s say swimming had two divisions; one for people with short arms and one for people with long arms. Phelps and his freakishly long arms qualify for the long arm division. Do you think it would be fair for him to compete in the short arm division?

I fail to understand why I should be opposed to this. These people are breaking the law.

You can WELL AKSHUALLY this all you like, but your candidates have spoken, loudly, on national television, about opening the borders and giving illegals free healthcare. I know those are very popular positions here, but really unpopular positions for the voting public. So either the Democrats are going to have to…

Decriminalizing illegal border crossings is open borders. It’s a cute trick to try, but it didn’t fool anyone, except, apparently, Democrat voters.

American voters aren’t going to be shamed into open borders, or free everything.  Keep trying though.

Seriously now. Fuck mobile games for 3 fucking reasons:

As a black man. I will tell all of you this.....During my military career, I’ve been to Latin American, Asia and Europe. This is the greatest country hands down. Thus far in my 56 yrs on this planet, I have visited some 21 countries and lived in 6 of them. I’ve seen real poverty up close. Not the, Can’t buy the name…

If you need to feel hospitable in a place like Twitch, where the incentive to get paid is to get more users, and the larger streamers have a constant barrage of chat...I just don’t see how it’s possible to avoid this stuff completely.

Im pretty sure there would be zero outrage right now if they cast that coin purse as Batman. Perfectly qualified too. 

I cannot fathom a situation in which I thought the best choice was to start giving another man a lap dance. Apparently this guy’s parents failed him.

The only thing I can think of that would be worse than giving your boss a lap dance, would be to then go on to tell the world that you gave your boss a lap dance.