When I saw “Filed to: CHASE UTLEY” I just had to hope that somewhere in that file is at least one article involving Mac, The World Series Defense, and riot punch.

I want to give Lisa hugs and feed her yummy treats and scratch her belly and tell her she’s a good girl and a pretty girl. And I want to do all of that blindfolded.

My dog had the same eyelid surgery as Lisa. They actually had to remove the foreskin from his penis to create new eyelids. He is perfectly fine now, just a little cockeyed.

Her new family. Good for them, and good for Lisa.

Don’t know, but whoever she is she’ll probably start it by lighting up his stash of whippin’ switches.

Less animate, more carbon.

Andre Rison.

To be fair, he was probably never beaten for drug use or promiscuity. He was beaten for “talking back”. Because that’s what’s really important: submitting yourself to people who will hurt you if you don’t kowtow to them.

To be honest with you, last time I was at a Ruth’s Chris, I was a little disappointed in the quality of the bathroom. Might have been because my dad had just taken a dump in there, though.

$50 says that dude is voting for Donald Trump, on account of how classy he is.

he disciplined his child in a manner he was disciplined.

Keep spending, Adrian. That money is never gonna stop flowing.

First came a grand jury indictment on a charge that he abused his 4-year-old son, followed by another allegation of child abuse, followed by his own admissions of marijuana use and promiscuity.

“Now go read the whole thing, but be ready to feel very bad about everything.”

What I can’t put in the past is all the future money the Vikes have committed to a RB on the wrong side of 30 who is clearly an asshole. He was fun to watch during his 2K season because there was no other reason to watch the Vikes. They’re a young team that could be really good in a year or two. Why waste your money…

“As a parent, we learned that you have to draw a hard line and be consistent,” Pegues says.

It’s just too damn bad that this one instance of Adrian Peterson being a shithead is going to overshadow what a gigantic shithead he was in the first place.

“I was brought up that way and I turned out okay” is the ultimate trump card for some people. I guess the proper response is, “No you didn’t. You grew up to be a child-abusing piece of shit.”

“If you spare the rod, you spoil the child,”

Are the bathrooms at Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse particularly known for their opulence?