Imaginary?

If given the choice between “dancing well” or “fucking poorly” I am going to have to go with the second one.

THOSE ARE DIGIMON!

Find that asshole, now. Robbing seniors is about as low as you can go.

+1 for you and for everyone else, because ol’ Mac would have hated an equal share for everyone.

Say what you will about CNN, but their ability to hire women who take no shit and have marvelously expressive “are you fucking kidding me” faces is almost unparalleled.

If Donald Trump wants to make the city streets safer, he and Dr. Carson should stay off of them.

Pretty sure this “appeal to black voters” is nothing of the kind. The whole message is packaged for racist whites who don’t want to think of themselves as racist.

I would bet that they went about this the wrong way. I played a college sport where we routinely traveled with 36 or more players, plus coaches, equipment managers, etc, with everyone bringing at least 2 bags that matched identically to everyone else’s. We would all just wait by baggage claim, and as each bag came…

“See!! I told you they would take over!”

omg, that’s awful. But this is also why you tie a big, colorful ribbon on your bag and look for that instead of the general shape/color of the bag.

Mine would be easy to find. My kids can never seem to put the cap back on the water bottle correctly. So mine would be the one with a puddle beneath it.

This was just a test of Canadian response procedure. We have gathered valuable data.

Claim Asylum!!!

Oh, so those are...jokes? Well, if you say so. We can go with that since no one will investigate the rumors. You’d think someone would be concerned for the children, but...yeah, ok.

Raise your hand if you think Cruise made those two guys in front take a knee because they were significantly taller than him?

Tiny bitter underpaid workers must have put my sense of self worth together today too.

They are awesome.

Now look...I love that she’s going to be the leader of the free world and I’m super legit in love with her wonky policy brain, but for one second, can we discuss how amazing Hillary’s cheekbones are??