I haven't watched the video, but... didn't everyone already know this? For those that witnessed the Jordan era, you can't help but notice Kobe patterned his entire game off of him. Damn good impression to, just not quite as talented.

Kobe is a psychopath who probably watched Jordan's every move and practice them in front of a mirror for hours on end, so he'd be just like Mike. I grew up in the 1980s and 1990s. I grew up in an inner city where the primary sport was basketball. Every little shit at that time imitated Michael Jordan (tongue…

What even is this?

"Really sorry about what's happening in Gaza"

Hunter Pence thinks Milk and Honey Original Cafe Mix is the best cereal ever.

I look forward to Deadspin's next post about some media outlet getting fooled by a fake Twitter account.

Exactly. He kept America totally safe. Except that one time.

Maybe you should stop dating beverages.

Editor's note: The editor refused to watch this.

"You did it, dad! You got us a ball! Now take off those ridiculous sunglasses."

And then Pepte Prisco decided to reprise his "Let me make an ass of myself regarding Chip Kelly and Nick Foles and at the same time piss off that very nice and polite fan base."

No kinja.

Proposed name: Heck's Kitchen.

If elephants were allowed to participate, I might watch rythmic gymnastics.

Does winner get to choose? I mean can you take him to a gay bar, a salsa night or a Rihanna concert? A mix if those? Possibilities are endless, fuck I want to win the shit out of this raffle!

ground beef is the According to Jim of taco proteins.

The best part is when the cop shoves her when she goes to pick it up.

#USC QB Cody Kessler reluctant to take a shit here at Pac-12 Media Days in front of reporters. Gotta think that's symbolic. He doesn't want to step on our toes while we do that figuratively.

Pictured: Alabama's 2014 schedule