After confirming that he is both about to become a pro athlete and recently punched a teen, police have charged Hairston with two counts of making middle-aged guys jealous.

Pictured: Beard, Blackbeard

you really wanna say the word don't you? It kills you. But you wanna feel safe in saying it. None of society's bullshit PC nonsense and no risk of bodily injury. I get it. This massive, years long campaign by that oppressive force of people who control everything. You're the victim. But not anymore you should stand up…

That is literally. Fucking. Yellow face.

Drift is what it would look like if someone laid Silly Putty over Watanabe's character inThe Last Samurai and then stretched it to a breaking point.

Michael Bay's method of fleshing out a character is just throwing a bunch of stereotypes at it, and hoping that a character results from them.

I prefer to be ruled by a panel of Five Guys.

Because the Whopper is sold by Burger King. And we don't appreciate kings in America.

it's hard to stay bad forever in the NBA

Of course he was taken off guard by a rapidly approaching jogger. After all, it's been two months since he was exposed to anything other than 12 steps.

There's enough of them on the internet that they'll eventually get around to correcting your grammar as well...

It was created by me, the author whose byline appears at the top of the article.

CO-ANCHOR "She should really switch to a one piece"

Smoak, you seem like a nice enough guy, but it's pretty obvious that you and I have much different definitions of the word "creative."

and unlike Master Chief's helmet these are actually aerodynamic. notice how there is a gap between the visor and the helmet? this so the air doesn't rip the helmet off your head.

No, I think he's referring to Steve Hawaii, known racist.

and....................

"And do I get any credit for having minority owners? No—it gets completely overlooked. This stupid country..."

Just in case.