Their HOA wrote them a stern letter reminding them of their obligation to paint their fence.

We should never forget that the whole reason we’re being subjected to this asshole in the first place is because his grandfather fled Germany for the US to avoid German conscription. Like grandfather, like grandson.

First time I’ve known her to be categorically wrong.

Yea, you can’t vote for these assholes for decades and then suddenly be shocked, shocked I tell you! to find out that they enact the exact policies they said they would. And you really can’t be shocked when all the people from California suddenly don’t want to spend their money in your backwater of a state anymore.…

I think it is hard to blame companies for not wanting to send their female employees to Georgia. What if, god forbid, one of their pregnant employees miscarries, and these dolts refuse to do an abortion because the fetus “might still be viable”? Or their employee gets charged with murder for miscarrying? Gets raped…

He’s wearing the vest far too long. It should just cover the waistband of the trousers, but he’s got it sitting on his hips. Like he’s said about his long-ass ties, he must think this is slenderizing. Instead, he’s fucked with the proportions and it looks like his tailcoat is far too short (the sleeves are also too…

Given he was wearing golfing shoes, and he came straight off to McLean from the golf course, I suspect that this ‘natty look’ was more of a coincidental case of golf hat hair cemented with hard sweat from his futile attempts to cheat his way to a mediocre golf score.   At least someone reminded him to hike his khakis…

there won’t be any other option for the senate not to do anything but the right thing.

I will hang out with the MS13 guys any day over that terrible gang known as the GOP.

Will shit himself? Oh Katherine, what do you think is happening during those five hours of “executive time” every morning? He soils himself every night while asleep. His assistants roll him out of bed and get him to the shower to hose him down. The sheets are peeled off of the plastic wrapped mattress and taken to be…

Sometimes I wonder when Kellyanne Conway will just stop. And then I look at her and realise not even death is that powerful.

It needs a full Constitutional Amendment giving women the unrestricted right to an abortion, free from charge, obstruction, or interference, regardless of age or parental consent, protected from protest, on demand until 25 weeks of pregnancy, and on medical need at any point thereafter; and funded and provided by the…

You said it all with: “Except it’s... you know, water.” And probably - soon enough - some melted arctic glacier will expose some long-dormant microbe. At least an obscenely rich and vulgar person will be patient zero.

I’m assuming she’s going to inject the babies into her lips. Or some other body part

Become pregnant with pancakes? That would be waffle.

I'm beginning to suspect Trump may not have a particularly good understanding of tariffs.

All were basically comprised of the same three words mixed together— China, great, and tariff. Now you’re all caught up.

Wow, fucker made up for not tweeting at all yesterday, and then some, huh? I’m just basing that on how many grey boxes I scrolled past. I don’t read that shit.

Actually, you could have saved time and stopped writing here, because no matter what else you typed the answer was “NO!”

As much as the past 2 years of political chaos has sucked, there’s a certain schadenfreude in watching Trump’s staggering mediocrity give equally mediocre young men just enough rope to hang themselves.