“Please accept my apology for any misunderstanding.

Donald Trump thinks Conor McGregor wants to be him. 

Only when Ivanka is around.

A baby’s asshole issues forth shit and that’s it’s only job.

The difference between news and opinion is not relevant, just as truth and fiction aren’t.

I just made a simple Venn diagram using “Willing to work for SCROTUS”, “Reasonably intelligent/qualified” and “Not an ethical leper” as qualifiers.

Prior to that there’s another tricky double negative combo but it was just a warmup for yours, which is a masterpiece.

On Gay Republican Night, downtown is usually deserted.

Omarosa is female so she only counts as half a friend.

It’s the tax returns.

Unless bees get abortions or use human bathrooms, the GOP has little interest in them.

Is America so bereft of talent that we can’t find anybody who hasn’t “made this one mistake”?

Nah, this is an organized retreat.

Maybe he’ll meet Fluffy, my first cat.

Continuing to advance Presidential tradition, The Drumph Library will only be available on laserdisc.

“Congratulations on becoming a host and inviting that in!” is a truly beautiful thing to say to a pregnant woman.”

“It truly speaks to the bottomless stupidity and inverse hubris of this man that he never realized for a moment that being President of the USA WOULD BE A HARD FUCKING JOB!”

That explains the orange, tiny dicked part but are all Alpha males so stupid?

“5th Gear: Takata May Have A Buyer”

I agree that donnie’s folder of unqualified lackwits is frighteningly abulge but I think it’s more likely that if DeVos is not confirmed, they’ll wheel her into the cloakroom, slap on a fake mustache, claim this is a DIFFERENT Betsy and try again.