I don't want to watch the video. Can someone please tell me how this happened? Did the skate get up under the pants? How else could it have happened? There's no way the blade could cut through that pants, right?

Sorry, bud. It sounds like she's getting by just fine without you.

Kylie,

You're the '72 Flogging the Dolphins.

I look forward to the follow-up stories from guys caught masturbating in their offices at work after reading Kylie's.

You mean leasa hand, i think

correction: you had sex w/your hands twice this week.

Of course we see this in high school games, bud. Spurs are the best JV team in England.

I believe you mean . . . "which Van Gundy."

Treon Harris: So you're saying it's going to get on ESPN?

"Tru but u don't just be having sex with just anybody but I cant doe my body is taken for my boyfriend."

William Shakespeare is that you?

His middle name is William.

This. I couldn't believe that guy's reaction. What a spineless twat.

Hey, hey, hey, take it easy, chief. Nobody here wants any kind of problem, all right? Everything's cool. Just be cool.

I like how the only other professional fighter in the ring, and the guy who just won the match thanks to that same referee, decides to just casually bail out when he sees the ref start getting his brains beat out. He even looks back to confirm that yes, the other guy is helpless on the ground getting pummeled, time to…

You masturbated in the backseat of a taxicab? Jesus Christ, Barry.

This guy is heartless

You hate to see a newspaper get it wrong like this. This kind of careless headline really makes you doubt their credibility. How did this front page get by the editors? I know they jam a ton of work into a tight timeline and everything, but you'd think they'd catch something so glaringly obvious—you spell "filthy"…

The injury itself bummed me out, but this comment made it dusty in here. It's been a long time since I was young enough to be as big a fan of a player as I could as a kid. Most pro athletes are younger than me now and they all just feel more human. Even this tiny glimpse into what childhood fandom was like made me…

Guys, she doesn't actually want to blow two guys at once: her actions are all tongue-in-cheek.