I love these conservative dystopia concepts because everyone always looks so happy in them. Really tells you where the priorities are. 

Fuck Trump. My leftist future promises open lap-sitting lesbians, permission for sheep to sit passenger sans seat belt, and the continuation of weed-smoking dumbass sk8r bois and I won’t have it any other way.

Spooky action at a distance was never so compelling. 

Ay, chiquita, el que seas latina o no no significa que tengas que hacer comentarios tan clasistas y que esperes que alguien se ría, hasta ahorita no entiendo que tiene de gracioso que alguien se forme para esperar comida, si eso quiere decir que soy una galleta salada sin gluten pues está bien.

Mexican.

Terrorists always end up using human shields.

All of them.

Didn’t his fourth of July parade completely defund DC’s counterterrorism operations somehow?

How many other communities has he stiffed on expenses for his Nuremberg rallies?

There are many, large football stadiums full of white supremacists on any given Saturday. Which one, Fucker?

Wow, these guys are getting desperate. Tucker on the run.

Mexico, where bad hombres come from.

Trump prefers anonymous “donations” laundered through third party real estate transactions and Russian banks. All of this public information/democracy stuff is just too messy.

Something like TWO children were killed with lawn darts, and those are banned. Maybe 10 kids died worldwide from choking on the toy from Kinder Surprise chocolate eggs, and those are banned in the US. One guy unsuccessfully tries to detonate a shoe bomb on a plane, now everyone has to take off their shoes before…

Truth! My parents just came back from an extended vacation in New England. They commented on how so many Russian and Ukrainian people were working (on work visas of course) in the little tourist traps around Martha’s Vineyard.

Lawn darts weren’t banned in the Constitution because getting them through airport security was the only way to beat the British during the Revolutionary War.

Criminal trespass - this isn’t even breaking and entering - it’s barely a crime. It could be as simple as being in someone’s yard.