Wait until he’s a Real Adult before taking steps toward getting married. Whether he can take care of himself is crucial information that can make or break the marriage, and right now it sounds like the jury is entirely out on that. There’s nothing worse than loving someone and wanting it to work and just...not being…

“Hm, I guess so? It always feels very creative and exciting to me, having the freedom to fill my life with things that give me so much meaning and fulfillment, and to devote myself to continuing study, exploration, and helping others around the world. But I totally get it if it doesn’t sound satisfying to some! Best…

That’s some deep shit. It’s like purposely fucking himself up so you’ll have to take care of him. Congratulations on the divorce!

You’re going to love this: my sister and her husband spend 5000 a month for their open concept apartment decorated like a showroom, and it’s totally incompatible with life so they rent it out for filming and stay in hotels. Their children have no memories of home and, frankly, very few opinions—they are never asked…

“Are you going to let me speak, Angela?!”

Congratulations on clocking your first day!!! That is huge!! It may have been me who left the link on that Nelsan post—regardless, I should probably take credit just to be safe. Someone linked to it several weeks back and I checked it out and was just really impressed. So warm and welcoming.

The snake is incidental to the exposure and isolation when your care needs are higher than usual. You shouldn’t be isolated and unprotected when hygiene is particularly important, when you’re weaker than usual or ill and susceptible to environmental factors, or when snakes or other wildlife can threaten your safety. …

I think it’s not just the amount, but the motivation. If drinking is a coping mechanism, then it can become a problem because alcohol is very bad as a longterm stress reliever—it usually makes anxiety worse, which leads to more drinking, etc. Also, stress will always be there, so if you lock in a certain risky…

Yeah, there’s a difference between freezing up or assuming someone else has called, and refusing to be decent. When I was a teenager, my friend was STABBED and bleeding out—he lived—on the sidewalk in front of a restaurant, and I ran inside to get them to call 911. They wouldn’t. I took their phone. The dispatcher…

I care. *hugs*

He always looks like a sassy little teapot to me. Everything he thinks he projects is the opposite, down to the vagina hands he probably thinks look like bullhorns.

I haven’t had bad experiences with any apt garden metaphors, so I don’t know what you’re referring to. Thank you for your sympathy, though. I’ll pretend you were talking about the leafminer that got my tiger melon *despite* preemptive neem oil foliar spray, unbelievable.

Gardening is a great metaphor for so much, but it’s always fucking used for sexuality and it ALWAYS brings up imagery of fetid crotches, crab lice, and wild pubes.

I’m so sorry. You are not supposed to feel anything but what you are feeling. Right now just try to take care of yourself—this is a death, just not physical, and everything you are feeling is okay. Continue therapy for yourself and get some nurturing in the form of massage. Nonsexual, compassionate touch is…

I feel like you have to say something more to them, or risk them making comments up to and including your wedding day, which will continue to erode your self esteem and interfere with your happiness at such an important moment. You’re basically asking how to not be affected by the people closest to you telling you…

That’s completely fair. Fact is, she takes you for granted because you are such old friends. She *does* love you and all that—so much that she thinks it’s a given, and that no effort needs to be made to honor the significance of a relationship. She probably finds it a relief to be with you and *not* have to perform…

Right on. If I ever want something off craigslist, I always assume I am in a race against time, and I get my ass in gear. I *still* give it only a 50% chance of still being there. I don’t understand people with no sense of urgency. Fucking hustle!

I’ve graduated to just hearing Chaka Khan—

Imagine having the whole world at your fingertips, and not enough handspan to grasp it.

I think if you realize you are going to piss yourself, the least you can do is not do it where food is being served and others have to clean up your bodily waste. Really. Walk outside and stand between two cars if need be.