I keep imagining skin purses. Like with sensible pockets. I regret everything.

I mean, that’s fine. Chefs know they have to let go of their creations when they leave the kitchen, no matter how much care they put in or how they want you to experience the creation (just like any other art, including that wall street bull). But it’s a dance and both of you are allowed to judge the other.

I feel like this weird obsession must have started when he was a child and his dad was kind of like, “I don’t know her.” He had been sent away because he was abusive and horrible to others and had to be effectively locked up, so he didn’t have internal value or any special talent to tout or be comforted by—he only…

I feel like Eric needs the skins for something else.

“57 DEGREES?!?? THAT’S FUCKING SPRINGTIME IN THE COOLER. THERE ARE PROBABLY DAFFODILS POKING UP THROUGH THAT HAM. SHOULD I BRING IN SOME PARASOLS AND A PICNIC BLANKET, IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT. IT’S CHERRY BLOSSOM FUCKING SEASON.”

I think it’s because a good steak is already juicy and seasoned well, so if you’re adding ketchup, you’re insulting the chef.

Of course she is learning nothing from how easily she was betrayed. She was a savant at lying on behalf of horrible people, but still doesn’t realize that their horribleness means that they don’t care about her either.

If we are taking a stand against using animals without their consent, how does everything else we do fit in? Isn’t there a contradiction between that stand and our routine torture/killing of animals?

Have you literally never watched one of our 4000 crime/forensics shows?!

OH it’s bleak.

“I feel like tons of people love Law & Order: SVU and they just don’t really talk about it as much as they should.”

He’s obviously going to be in isolation until he dies.

Oh GOD. I don’t care that they have no talents, but they are just blank. They are Gertrude Stein’s Oakland. And Kylie is the blankest.

Yeah it’s depressing. “I obviously still hate women and will fight against their rights til I’m dead, but for now I’ll acquiesce because I’m not getting laid. Happy now?”

No they won’t. Mother Pence hasn’t gone to bed without a floor-length nightgown in 50 years.

It makes me so happy. Every blue moon there’s a great artist that sneaks through the music-industrial complex and gets the exposure she deserves. Blue moons are very rare.

Why does it sound hot? They’d just want to call you Mommy and make you wear nude support hose while you spanked them.

It can never be better than how you are when you’re alone. Only different. But a relationship can’t change you or save you or make you happy. (Sounds stupid obvious, but is so not obvious.)

;-) But seriously, what has your crunchy ass done for me lately? Never in history has someone said, “You know what’s missing? Fucking CELERY.”

If you were capable of lying with every cell of your body, you also could have multiple failed marriages.