I was just about to ask the same thing. How awesome would it be to hear "Please make Immelman when safe"

Hotsauce would be proud.

As a human who has traveled with United a handful of times, this actually seems much more humane than, say, forcing the dog to speak with a desk agent.

You bought an airline ticket with a seat number. Now sit there. This isn't a bus.

The NBA jersey designers and ugly are apparently on a first-name basis..

Are these jerseys the NBA's attempt at an "ugly sweater" party?

"It's hard to imagine any team picking him up this late in the season, or ever again for that matter."

Guess you've never rented?

Guess you've never rented?

Vitamix 750 Professional Series:

Vitamix 750 Professional Series:

So the argentinians proved themselves to be bigger assholes than Clarkson, to have less of a sense of humor than Hitler and showed downright primitive behavior unfitting of a "civilized" nation over a freaking license plate. Because said plate supposedly references a war they lost which, from what I gather, was over a…

Is it bad my first thought was "Oh, this episode is gonna be good"?

Not to self: Argentinians can't take a joke

You think that's impressive?

Wait...am I still at a disconnect to think the headline of 'terrible people' is unfair if we don't know the full story? I am in no way taking a side in this, and the police are out of control...but if in a week a cell phone video of Darren Wilson getting fucked up and wrestling for the gun and being attacked again…

That, ladies and gentlemen, is what a hero looks like.

For the sake of everyone on board, let's hope Pierce isn't the plane's most reliable wing.

All this stupid traffic? Thanks a lot, me.

This is such an apt metaphor for me waking up the day after having Chipotle.

This should have been worth more than 5 points in my fantasy league, damn it.