First they need to apologize for what they did to pizza.

He’ll roo the day he didn’t koalafy for the tournament.

I don’t understand why he is tanking? Does he get a better draft pick in January?

And Jeter too. Just to be safe.

In general I agree, but I’m also irritated by this move. Now the Braves will definitely plunk a different Marlins player, and I will have to deal with deep moral confusion over the whole thing.

The question of Phillip Rivers retiring to be a shitty dad/husband does spark a question which is, HAS ANYONE WATCHED JAY FUCKING CUTLER ON VERY CAVELARI?!

HOLY SHIT! I have never seen a couple that seem to openly resent each other as much as Jay and Kristen. At ALL times seems like she’s minutes away from poisoning…

It wouldn’t have surprised me if Drew had simply forgotten to do one of these for the Chargers. Would anybody have noticed?

Even listmakers forget the Cards exist.

The clearest message that I get out of WYTS every year is that attending an NFL game in person is a fucking horrible decision and only idiots do it.

Baltimore: Donnie.

As a (Army) veteran and a first responder (Fire/EMT) fuck these sanctimonious assholes. There’s absolutely nothing disrespectful toward the military about these protests. They have every right to protest.

There’s a certain subset of American shitbags who will only support a union cause if it involves killing black people.  

“There are 31 other teams in the league. Feel free to pick one.”

So’s your mom’s basement.

Haven’t Florida public schools suffered enough this year?

The team has sucked since they brought in Jimmy “Margaritaville” Johnson and he refused to let Marino throw the fucking ball. I’d watch Marino virulently scream countless, unprintable obscenities on the sidelines to Johnson, then to nobody in particular. Then they got beat 62-7. They have sucked ever since.

Being a Dolphins fan is an exercise in futility. A long, long time ago any season where they didn’t win the division handily was considered a failure, but that was back when the franchise was competently operated and had actual standards. But now, here in “modern times”, being a Dolphins fan means an endless…

Sorry, it’s Deadspin policy to ridicule anyone seeming to be in support of the Patriots until proven otherwise.

The Patriots went 18-1, Sully. Don’t forget that 1.

What is it with people mistaking Cutler for a good quarterback? He’s just a guy who racks up passing yards when it doesn’t matter. He’s not the Bears best QB evah. He’s not the best QB Miami’s had since Marino.