That was not even close to a pop-up slide

What’s up with all the Wiz hyperbole this playoffs from you all? Wall has been amazing, he’s up there with Kawhi for best player so far this playoffs. But the Wiz also took 6 games to knock out the Hawks, who had a negative point differential this season, in the first round. They’ve been decent, but that’s it. They…

To be fair, a billionaire owner having 0.1% of his net worth invested in a company that has 1% of its assets invested in a bankrupt casino company as part of a hundred various companies it’s invested in really *shouldn’t* be a story. The story is of course that the NFL are massive hypocrites on the issue, but I think…

Gee, maybe not caring about their seed should’ve occured about two months and 1000 LeBron minutes ago.

I still miss Grantland. It was a good thing.



One day a font will be invented with smoke coming from it, to indicate the hotness of the takeness.

ETA

Bringing Allen Branch back was not a big-money item, but as important as any on this list. I’m no aficionado, but I think that guy’s one of the most underrated defensive players in the league. He’s never really even talked about among the Patriots’ best but I think he’s been increasingly good for three years now.

Actually “CEO” is a term that means “Chief Executive Officer”, and is usually the title of the person who leads a company, may it be big or small. Sometimes they scam their way to the top, but sometimes it actually does take hard work and accomplishment. Also they may not do the day-to-day nitty gritty, but managing…

AND WHERE DO THEY TEND TO LIVE? IN CITIES WITH URBAN HOUSING CRISESESES. CITIES WITH URBAN HOUSING CRISEES HAVE ACRONYMS, LIKE LA OR NYC OR CHICAGO... CEO IS ALSO AN ACRONYM, WHICH REARRANGED SPELLS “OPEC”, BUT WITHOUT THE “P”. WHO ELSE DOESN’T HAVE PEE? SEA ANEMONES. ANEMONES IS A HOMONYM WITH ENEMY AND CEOS ARE THE…

Well, that was dumb.

Reeeeaally looks like the ref watches the ball and when he sees it’s not going in, blows the whistle.

Chuck E Cheese- I haven’t been to one of these places in ages. The video game cabinets have been replaced by educational games, but the animatronic show goes on. Across the table two time Super Bowl MVP, Eli Manning squirts Elmers glue into his mouth. As we wait for our sausage pizza, Eli leans in and confides that…

The world would be a lot nicer place if we could all be 6/9ths as happy as Gronk.

And with that, Julio Jones’ incredible performance is turned into the equivalent of a pat on the head and a ‘you did good, too!’, which sucks, because he was fucking incredible last night.

All this Super Bowl proves is that this year, in every way/shape/form, Deadspin has been comprehensively owned not by Denton, not by Univision...but by Barstool Sports.

The tears on this website might be a close second. It’s a fucking football game, not a metaphor for the country.

“Julia, tonight for your date with Bill, you’ll be helicoptered to Jack-O’s house along with Jalen Rose where you will watch a Survivor marathon and argue about whether or not the 2012 Miami Heat are properly rated.”

Can we all agree that Bill Simmons, regardless of current marriage status, should be the next Bachelor? Watching vapid women attempt to listen to his takes with a straight face would be primetime TV gold.

Soundly?

I'll give you a pass on Beamish not making the list since it's not sold in the US, but no Kilkenny? Major oversight.