This. When I was sexually harassed at work and reported it, my office manager said “well, he couldn’t have meant anything by it. He’s a married man!” Because married men never do anything wrong. Luckily, my boss was a no nonsense woman who had worked in government since the 70s and seen it all, and immediately rolled…

Damn. THIS. Thank you. #metoo

(spoilers) How good was that scene where the lawyer was like “yeah, she wanted me, just how it is..” !!!! So much projection!

Yes! All of this! It messes us up to the extent that you don’t know how to feel or behave when they fuck with past events. And yet they’re able to recall them when it is convenient to do so - when they want to switch the narrative yet again.

So many men can look you straight in the eye and say they didnt do/say/act something they blatantly did. Women probably can do the same but men really seem to lie with a level of commitment where I think they’ve actually completely compartmentalised what they did. Like they actually don’t remember what they did until…

You put words to a feeling I haven’t been able to pinpoint. I keep seeing men say “don’t trust allies, not even me” and you’re spot on - they’re performing in some bizarre way that allows them to not be accountable and not give up any power. Thank you so much for this comment.

Holding your hand up and going my bad, not cool, is how we all get out of having to actually do anything. We acknowledged that things are bad and you want us to do something about that too!?!?!

I read an article like that on Jezebel the other day:

Millennials didn’t learn from the Baby Boomers that shaming an entire population doesn’t cause awareness that leads to change. It causes awareness of a social standard that leads to pretending to change. That’s why we have wypipo calling themselves the victims of racism. They are tired of the shaming and tired of the…

Nah, that’s like the people who say “I’m not good at” returning people’s calls, emails or texts. Bullshit. As long as you are talking about what you are or are not, you are not doing. You’re stalling with the shame show. Its moral masturbation

Wait, I think I get it. Calling yourself trash is how men deal with the fact that they actually like patriarchy and misogyny because it benefits them. So they show shame and that covers up for the fact that they still want dominance. If you say “I’m trash” and do a little performative feminism, you can avoid changing…

I don’t disagree with the point you’ve made at all and I don’t necessarily disagree with the wider point Kathmandu was making. My response above came from the frustration of constantly being told “but but women!” whenever something critical is said about men. It’s the constant attempt to derail that’s the source of my…

Women are only about 10% of offenders. It’s absolutely true that it gets downplayed when the victim is male (he should be happy/proud to get the attention), and I don’t in any way condone that, but when 90% of offenders are men I think it’s fair to say that sexual abuse is a male problem.

And the guilt as a victim in being responsible for the criminal’s consequences.

“I was scared of losing my friend” really speaks to the loneliness and isolation he must’ve felt as both a child star and victim of abuse.

That was my first reaction. Sorta wish I’d kept it short and sweet with that. Also, I don’t want to come across like I don’t believe women can’t do evil shit and that boys/men can’t be victims. Because of course. I once saw a good analogy for All Lives Matters on Twitter and it feels like it can also be applied to…

Sexual abusers are overwhelmingly male.

Based on the rumors that everyone tosses around but does nothing with (like Weinstein as of two months ago), I would not suggest that 14 year old boys in the industry are remotely safe. And I suspect they have, if anything, less idea that they’re a target of sexual predators.

Unfortunately this summer my husband had to take our 12 year old daughter and her friend aside at the beach and talk to them about it after he chased off a creeper older teen. Apparently the girls took it okay ( I wasn’t there-the teen “accidentally” touched one of the girls butt and then was “adjusting” himself) but…

Such a tough thing - you’re totally right and I felt the same as a teenage girl, that I just wish someone had been honest with me about all the bullshit and patriarchy I was encountering... I was just angry angry angry all the time, and being told to smile. Rage face.