Your ass was built in Bavaria?

Well, imagine a being from Mars - one of those jokers you hang out with, Torchinsky - comes up to me and points a ray gun straight at me and says, in that sort of synthetic metallic accent,

Starion with a DeLorean front end.

I’m assuming it powered by ICE?

So, FYI, this racist fuckwit has a real hard on for me because I didn’t listen to his racist idiocy about “chain migration” (aka, family reunification for those of us not terrified of brown people).

Man, no shit: when I did the launch drive for this car back in 2014, they had all this British stuff everywhere. Union Jack flags, The Who and the Stones playing all over the place. But all the engineers there were German guys! “You like the new Mini, ja? Das ist ein kleiner Rennwagen, ja?”

Came here to say this. 80s and 90s Mercedes interiors will stand the test of time like no other.

Not THIS time. THIS TIME will be different and you’ll totally get a Jetta with stretched on tires with no sidewall, no door handles and the continuous formation of dry-ice-smoke forming around the wheels whenever you stop!

Those are real bank robbers, not actors.

Can confirm. The torque is cra-cra.

Future Jalopnik-Amazon Post blog post:

So gloriously Florida. Probably has enough power to git to Bubba’s for the Can-Am submarine races: http://jalopnik.com/florida-man-drives-can-am-right-into-swimming-pool-with-1806114104?utm_campaign=socialflow_jalopnik_facebook&utm_source=jalopnik_facebook&utm_medium=socialflow

9.8 seconds to 100m, though.

When I saw him sniff the ad of the big juicy steak...

It’s no speedwagon but I’d take it on the run. Better than a journey anyway. And you can’t be in a rush all the time. Take a slow ride, like they do in Asia. Somebody’s going to buy this in the heat of the moment and probably take it to Kansas or Boston. Oh well back to my pink Cadillac.

OK, that’s just fucked up. This is the first time I’ve heard of a fatality in karting, of all places you’d die racing. And 11? Geez.

How about a topless tank driving school.

70 odd years on and there are still German projectiles damaging factories.

“Hey car - bring this thing back when it’s 18 years old please.”

Ohms law would like a word with you. Putting in twice the voltage doubles the current through a given resistance.