Oh my god...I just vomited in my own hands. I’m going to lay down and imagine what death feels like for the next hour.

“Well, did you bring enough Mercury for everyone?"

“Mercury, quicksilver, lead and cadmium.” You have mercury in there twice, he must have liked mercury.

really underselling the “throwing chips? that’s a tasing” interaction

THAT WAS A WEIRD ONE....

Woa, hey, cool it with the hot takes.

I’ll call you RipVaninSeattle then. 

Chef: MY MOM

Street Smarts!

Yes, the tactical taco tackle technique.

‘80s jocks were right - nerds are bad fucking news.

It’s expensive to run a fucking hotel you dumbass nitwit.

Hot Pocket take?

fuckin cat people, i swear

Yeah, but like, just the Idris Elba shows.

Yeah, but those guys will get sick of Papa Johns pretty quick.

“He .... has been wearing a soft cast.”

Meanwhile poor Tammi’s getting dragged again

Gramma for sure. Cuz he’s a good boy.