I’ll be accommodating to customers with health needs, but trying to turn your battered fish tacos into a grilled fish wrap (actual request I received)? Sir, that’s a burrito, and we don’t do that at my establishment.

He’s just going to a farm upstate!

“That which matters most in life”= “To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women”

No shit you’re not a business expert, taking out a line of credit to pay utilities is a stupid-ass move.

It’s the principle, you willfully obtuse twat waffle.

There’s a difference between me telling my employees they can’t wear a midriff baring shirt and they need to go get one from retail, and me fining that same employee $14,000 dollars.

So what you’re saying is, ‘86 saw Challenger, Chernobyl, your dad....and my birth.

You may very well have played against my HS’s basketball team.

If she’d gone to IHOP she’d still get the Shooty Stooly Fresh and Fruity.

Pipe down there, pipsqueak.

Hey like I said, my feelings aren’t little, they’re perfect.

What are you, some sort of union buster, Buster?

We prefer the term “differently heighted.”

Muggsy Bogues made it work.

You’re goddam right 5'7" is no. 2. Perfect fit for airlines and 98% of automobiles, I can easily reach low shelves and still get to most high shelves unless they’re over the range hood or refrigerator. Quite frankly, I don’t understand why more people aren’t 5'7"

They said no tip!

That’s what I tell people in my taproom: IPAs are not going to give you a good idea of the quality of a breweries beers when they can just hop the shit out of it to gloss over any “defects.”

Saisons and Grisettes are good ways to go, although they might be harder to find now that fall is around the corner. For an easy-to-find, year-round beer I think most blondes fall in the low-hoppiness category as well.

Have you worked in a restaurant? Because yes.