This kawaii baby’s gonna write its own check when it hits the Japanese market!

All my years in school and I never realized JStor had a kinky side to it.

I had a similar conundrum when I was ten and had to come to terms with Polanski and Chinatown.

Silvergate Media will pay a restitution of eight-hundred billion dollars!

Prettier! Little’er! Lies-ier!

“Idris Elba and I are never actually going to lock eyes across a crowded room and then immediately get it on, sadly”

Medium Sausage Pizza: But it’s Deep Dish, so it’s thick

Yeah, this sounds less “sexual encounter” and more “period of being the victim of sexual harassment, stalking, and assault.”

This is really good news to hear. I’m not a big fan of the recent trilogy, but seeing the shit that the (most often female) cast members received from people on the Internet was the far, far bigger disincentive to talk about Star Wars with people in any area.

Pretty good way to throw Beyonce off your scent.

You fool, that’s just a buff J.K. Simmons!

In real life, those swollen heads you see on A.V. club staff are from repeated PED abuse, not just from their sense of self-accomplishment.

“For what shall it profit a man, if he quells his esophagus, but lose his soul?”

I can’t wait to drunkaroot around in my fridge for snacks after four of these.

...so I am.

“All day long, I’d *motorboating noises*, if I were a boobies man!”

There’s the bald one, the sexpot, the one with the hair, the one with the forehead, the one with the creepy eyes, and Whoopi.

I can’t wait to see what’ll happen once Todd McFarlane enters into the mix!

“Are you being sarcastic, dude?”

That’s the huge jacked son of Huge Jacked Man.