The number of stud NBA ready gaurds in college ball is staggering.

+1 jewel for your crown

I am a UK fan largely by way of my dad, who’s been cheering for the Cats since the 50's. At first, I watched games just to have something to do with him; now, however, grown and married myself, I watch them just as much to howl and whoop (in defeat and in victory) at the TV as I do to be able to call him up and say,…

Passing on the fastbreak? Malik will have nun of that.

Look in J-Lo’s bed, so it seems; no tears for Drake!

Sir Ian McKellen or Mr James May. Because Morgan Freeman--while an outstanding orator--is kind of cliche now, I should think.

By default, Morgan Freeman

Anne Frank. Let’s see if she has any faith in humanity now.

• “HELD DOWN IN ART CLASS, CLASSMATE SHOVED SEQUINS DOWN THROAT”

“Per patient” is ED charting speak for “this patient is full of shit.”

“PUT A PENCIL UP RECTUM TO MAKE BOWEL MOVEMENT TO GET GAUZE PATIENT SWALLOWED TO COME OUT”

Champion.

“SMILEY HAND TOY FROM VENDING MACHINE, MOM NOTED A RUBBER HAND PROTRUDING FROM RECTUM”

OH MY GOD!!! This is basically my worst nightmare. I don’t have any teeth problems that I know of (that is, no pain or issues but MAYBE SECRET INFECTIONS??) but I know it’s so dumb to let this go for longer. I am making an appoinment in January!

Looks like Brigitte Bardot was rode hard and put away wet.

I was on a medication that could cause glaucoma. If my eyelid twitched I was calling my eye doctor to set up an appointment. Luckily she had been an eye doctor in the Navy previously and was very pragmatic - she basically told me to just fucking stop already. I never did get glaucoma.

1. Will I ever afford retirement or will I work until I’m dead? The odds are pretty good that we’ll all be dead within a decade.

STAINS.

1. Did I undercook the turkey?
   

Only a chickenshit would make true statements about facts.