Just buy a fucking PC already.

I think if I spent thousands of hours making a game, I’d code it so every NPC the illegal downloader passed flipped change at my character (even bosses), while they muttered things like “poor guy”, “here, buy yourself something to eat”, “sorry you are so hard up, don’t worry, things will probably pick up for you in…

Lol. Deathmatch literally started with Doom.

Tales from the Borderlands was fantastic, even given the somewhat janky engine Telltale keeps using. From experience, also not much in the way of slowdown compared to the Walking Dead episodes. I would certainly recommend trying it out, though I can definitely understand your reasons for not wanting to play through…

I just want to be human! I want to learn, and do science!

What’s that, Curie? Your only dream is to be a pixie-haired French girl? Sorry, no. Instead I’m going to make you a GIANT METAL DEATH MACHINE WITH GATLING GUN ARMS. Que sera, sera.

There’s absolutely no reason to do this. It’s just Microsoft looking for ways to force 360 owners to upgrade to the floundering mess that is the Xbox One.

I’ve grown to sympathize with it. He and I have been through a lot.

I just hope snap map lets you make co-op campaigns!

Right?! I mean, totally. At least when games get bad releases on console there’s NOTHING you can do. Totally more worth it when that happens, then. Oh, and it’s happening more often to boot....

Because you don’t want the option of making your game run more smoothly?

I’m glad that my life isn’t so empty that the free time I have away from work and taking care of my family aren’t squandered by being a huge asshole in a video game.

“I gotta tell ya, my virus is yuuuge. Beautiful, just beautiful, a terrific virus.”

Yeah I dunno why Kate McKinnon does it for me, but she really does.

That UI is a nightmare. Is that really what MMO’s look like now?

Clearly not a member of the master race I see.

Thou shalt use Steam.

I have one for Ubisoft. Thou Shalt Get Rid of UPlay