I feel bad for this kid. Fuck Lucic and the Bruins.

Schroedinger's pet service? You'll know where it is, but not whether it's alive or dead. At least they're complying with Heisenberg's uncertainty principle.

Beaten by Dre©

Jeez, just rent a van and drive your dog to the destination, and along the way solve mysteries with your three friends. Like, zoinks.

And if the pet dies, Delta gives you free admission into their new Geocaching Club.

Yet, may come in handy.

Drunk souls is best souls

When did sandwich counters or public busses?

“they obviously knew about it during testing”

No! No, Mr. Patrick Klepek! You are wrong! Any article that drags politics into my video games is never worth reading! Politics do NOT belong in games under any circumstance, and should be shunned at all times. They are just games, not reflections of current culture/attitudes, or statements about issues by the…

Is this your car, sir?

Good call. I always hate when my dinner runs away.

I usually keep them in a cage, so I know where they are when I want to devour them later.

Not as cool as the Comanche, obviously

A Comanche, because why not!

Who?

I asked for one! They said: “Aren’t you that asshole with the Ferrari?”

Tried as I did to convince Jeremy Clarkson to take over Jalopnik, he’s refusing to take my phone calls. As such, noted Miata/Meatloaf karaoke enthusiast Travis Okulski will be your new Editor-in-Chief.

Of course he would choose the concussion. A torn ACL would severely restrict his ability to suck his own dick.

Bad: “How did you learn to do all this?!” (How could you possibly understand and use this)