HA HA HA WOMEN WHO AGREE WITH EVERYTHING I SAY AND DO AND DON'T ASK ME TO DO HARD THINGS LIKE ADMIT I'M A SEAWORTHY DOUCHECANOE ARE MORE ATTRACTIVE TO ME THAN WOMEN WHO DISLIKE ME AND SAY BAD THINGS ABOUT MY CHARACTER AND DEMAND I DO THINGS LIKE LEARN AND CHANGE MYSELF FOR THE BETTER.

There is a product that does this. It's called a hat. But it needs to be worn for decades and is purely prophylactic. I guess that doesn't lend itself to advertising.

Amanda Berry, one of the three women held captive in a Cleveland home by the now-incarcerated-for-life Ariel Castro, made a surprise appearance at Cleveland's RoverFest on Saturday night, and was invited onstage by Nelly.

That is a dinglehopper.

Also, Fall on Your Knees is a wonderful book that deals with this subject (by lesbian literary author/playwright Anne Marie Macdonald). It begins in Victorian Cape Breton, Canada and finishes in Harlem at the beginning of the Jazz age and involves one of the most touching romances that I have ever read.

The problem with that logic is as follows: if we no longer are forced to pay for health insurance then the upkeep on those vaginas may wane and the president may end up with so much yeast on his hands that he has to turn that vagina harem into a vagina bakery.

When I was in elementary school, we got "Say no to drugs" speeches.

Someone remix this with Summertime, STAT!

Please. Every good conservative knows that vaginas *are* vulgar transmissions. Even the word "vagina" is too vulgar to be uttered in a public forum.

Between their lack of understanding about science and the way they don't seem to have even a rough grasp on how teenagers think, I'm beginning to think that most conservative legislators just didn't go to high school. Or middle school. Or any school, maybe, since most of them also appear to have missed the lessons…

Hi Beyonce, how are you? I just want to know is there any reason or dissatisfaction of Kanye and I's birth that both you and Jay-Z gave 3800$ each? In terms of the amount we got from you both was very unexpected as a result we were very much short on paying off the OBGYN because just for the delivery + hospital stay…

I dunno, can we get some other straight people to weigh in on this? Their input would be really valuable in determining whether or not he is, in fact, a homophobe in this case.

I don't know what you're talking about because Paula Deen's sons say that Alec Baldwin IS NOT homophobic.

That's a good question. Some quick brainstorming resulted in the following:

Gifts aren't "supposed" to be anything except optional and well-meaning.

People love to make idiotic statements about weddings as if they're carved-in-stone facts. I'll never forget the time my mother-in-law looked me directly in the eye and stated that "weddings are about the mothers, not about the bride" as if she was informing me that water is wet and the sky is blue.

Why was this film made? Do we really need this particular story told again? There is no way to make Tonto acceptable. It's a horrible character. Let it die. You want to make a Western? Here's an idea: write an original damn script. Are there writers in Hollywood studios anymore, or just regurgitators?

If he added a bunch of necklaces and at least 5 scarves around his neck and coming out of his jeans pockets, it would be his every day look.

i look forward to people in 2050 asking me "where i'm from" and if they can touch my hair.

Except that while minority births surpassed white births for the first time, minority birth rates are declining.