That’s what they originally thought, but it turns out he was just playing dead.

Man, Coach K is one terrible looking Santa.

I’m not falling for this shit again. Let me guess, a kid died in his paws

It was Chandler and Monica’s application to an adoption agency. And it’s a good thing he did, the one he personally wrote looked like it was written by a child. And yes, it does make me sad that I know all of this as a 32 year old man.

It’s like that episode of “Friends” when Joey used a thesaurus to replace all the words in his job application.

Throwing on the one yard line instead of running it for starters

“Listen here, little lady, the bigger question is why Obama isn’t investigating Hillary’s child molesting pizza parlors.”

ITEM #23-4203258 – RABBIT AERO LEVER 2.0

I’ve had a conspiracy theory that Jeffrey was secretly being held in a cage in her basement, and then just trotted out for photoshoots. She would have to give him a talk to make sure that he doesn’t escape while filming, and if he’s good, he will get the bones from the chicken stock that he had made earlier.

Dear Ina,

God love 20-somethings. Honey, you sell nuts at a baseball stadium. Let’s stop and let that sink in. You sell nuts. At baseball games. You are not a god. You are not oppressed. I’m a member of the white race, and I don’t need a savior. Especially not a 26-year-old nut job. I mean, nut GOD.

At first I thought watching a game backward didn’t make a lot of sense. Then I realized it’s just another perspective. And from that perspective every game ends in a tie. And then I thought, why not draft another power forward?

“Don’t do that. They still get pregnant in the air.”

500 Days of Tiffany

Man, people sure have a strange way of expressing their economic insecurity.

You Shitti Farty Dirty Nasty Jude Bitch!

Golfers, tennis players, football players on the sidelines, Bill Murray in Space Jam; I can go on forever, baby

It almost looks like Ryan Gosling from Remember The Titans made it to the NFL, but he’s still mad about all the racism at his high school.