Extra raccoon scat please!

I once wrote a poem about Boulder CO entitled "Loose Meat Sandwich". I then read it at the Trident. It got the expected response. I felt like Ginsberg. A straight, meat-eating, minimally talented Ginsberg.

It's spelled 'Lil Yachty', but it's pronounced 'Lil Throat Warblow Mangrovey'.

Torque 'n Beans ft. Poople Peep, and Them Sloth Wrench Planets.

Gross.

I often dress as a Flenser for Halloween. Replete with sign that says, 'Flenser'. Just so people know.

PEE-TAH! I'm OD'ing!!! Don't tell! Mom and dad will take my bike away again!

I sent them some fan fiction, where Ramona hooked up with Fudge, got knocked up, and went on a pharmacy robbing rampage on their way to Juarez to get an abortion. Then they both died in a shootout on the border. Neither lady ever got back to me. I guess they were both really busy.

Smash some scrapple into that thing and you got yourself a little peace of of heaven.

It's a place called Goede Sauer. Only for Phlegmish Hipsters.

Apparently Denver has a new bar that ONLY serves sour beer.

PLEASE! You're talking about people in BOULDER! Show some sensitivity. They prefer to be called Absurdist Portrayals Of Supposedly Spiritual Beings Who In Fact Are Just Shallow Weirdos Who Want Attention And Maybe A Vegan Scone From Alfalfa's.

I once had a beach holiday in Shittington. The only place worse than Slough.

I applaud this kid for getting the lowest point in his life out of the way so early on. Better times ahead, little one! Keep the faith!

Hot investment tip; Insulin.

Yeah….That's not really what I was talking about…but thanks for the lesson!

Illuminati Wizards do not get their Lamborghinis stolen, and hidden from them by a teenager.

The whole point of her visit is to get a Rabbi to bless them. Maybe several Rabbis.

Like anyone expected Pepsi to have quality control? Have you ever tasted their product?

An article pointing out that Sleater Kinney started up over 20 years ago, and at the bottom I get an add for a Bosch weed trimmer. Gawdam, I really am an old man. Now get offa my lawn, That sumbitch needs trimmin. Riot Trrrrrmrrrr!