*bitter, twisted, angry smirk* Pretty much what I thought. Bitter, bitter humor.

This sums up my feelings about people justifying their choice to leave NYC by writing ad nauseum about it and wondering aloud why people stay, aka, don’t make the same choice they made:

I feel similar about how trendy armpit hair has gotten. Like, awesome, but where the fuck were you all when I was getting shit for the last decade and a half?

But she’s not deliberately NOT wearing make up. She deliberately PRETENDING not to wear make up while she’s actually wearing make up to bring into focus the unrealistic expectations being placed on a woman’s appearance while creating another level of the already existing deception by trying to pass off a face with…

Tried this on my partner too. They thought it was a lame idea...

My husband and I did this. Our previous surnames were both one syllable and wouldn’t combine well, so we didn’t try to mold them into a new name. Our new surname is Phoenix. Has been since we got married in 2006, and it hasn’t been a legal issue once. We did go in front of a judge to officially change it, which was…

I wasn’t particularly attached to my surname or to my fiancé’s, so I traded him for it. I agreed to take his name, ensuring that I would never have to explain to school secretaries that no, I’m not their stepmother. In exchange, I got permanent and exclusive rights to (a) handle our daily finances and (b) choose and…

I had a friend with the last name “Bankhead” and one named “Hurlbut”. One drunken evening they decided they should get married and listed all the ways they could combine their names. Naturally “Buthead” was the winner.

My mom and her ex joked about that. They wanted to be the Hugworthys.

Do it, I wish me and my wife did something cool like that. I get shit from her all the time about having my last name. My name is super fucking common Irish name, she is CLEARLY not fucking Irish. She gets asked all the time. “Do I look like I am afraid of the sun?” is her usual answer. After our Italian honeymoon…

My husband and I thought about it...Knutz...for about 2 seconds...

I’m trying to talk my partner into combining our names into a pun. If you take parts of each of our names you get something like “loveless”. I think it’s hilarious... he’s not convinced.

My wife and I did that! I love our badass last name—we are the SCULLINGTONS. I’ll be honest though, it did take a little bit of convincing.

I wanted my husband and I to change our last names to Blackstorm (sounds badass), but something about “he wants to keep his culturally Greek name” blah blah blah. I suppose I could change mine on my own.

restrict the use of accents and umlauts

Well, if you’re sitting under a palm tree in the shade, that’s SORT OF a shadow government, right?

Barack just wanna sit under his own vine and fig tree, a moment alone in the shade, at home in this nation he’s made, one last time.

I like this moment from earlier today.

“Hopefully the people who would vote against us will be dead by midterms.”

And once I jump out of this airplane, then I’ll open this pack on my back and find out if there’s really a parachute in it.