They straight up live next door to Tiffany’s. This is the equivalent of me handing Barack a gift from my bodega.

Of course it’s Tiffany’s box.

Trump kissed Michelle on the cheek after he only air-kissed his own wife.

Where in Hogwarts is Carmen SanDiego?

Observation: Donald and Melania never kissed each other. They air kiss each other (several times) then regular kiss others. Body language says they can’t stand each other.

The combined brainpower in this photo could power that light on your dashboard that tells you to put on your seatbelt.

Worth noting, too, that there was almost no one on the sidewalks for the motorcade from the White House. There were actually more police/military lining tge streets than there were onlookers.

I’m sure he’ll say, “we had the biggest crowds ever!!” But deep down it kills him that the crowds are small, just like it kills him that he is perceived as an illegitimate president.

And what patriot threw up that garbled mess of a dress?

Listening to the NPR hosts try to describe how light the crowds are while avoiding making it sound like they were crowing about it in a partisan fashion was amusing.

are you the designated survivor? i’d be ok with that (though incredibly sad)

Oh! No. It’s because I don’t particularly like the women I work with. :( They’re all very dumb and bad.

I don’t think I could do anything but panic with Bill Eicher screaming at me and asking me things. Just watching him makes me want THE longest nap. He’s like a bunch of exclamation points personified.

even if you know the things that you’re asked about, recalling them on the spot is hard.

I’m black and I have no clue who she is or why she expected anyone to read that cyan on white note of hers.

That’s just her way.

“the deal was reached a week ago, but has been kept ‘a big secret’ because Michele’s camp feared the seven days of criticism that would surely lead up the divisive President-elect’s big day.”

The room erupts in laughter, as we’re reminded that Perry is now about to be confirmed as head of the department he wanted to cut completely

For some reason that made-up word forced me to pronounce it with a bad German accent inside my head. Das ist mein goosband.

Don’t be so hard on yourselves, you’re lovely people.